PICTURE: Bud Selig Presents Mariano Rivera with the Silver Dong of Achievement

  Imagine the size of the dildo Derek Jeter will get when he retires.  Continue Reading →
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Failed Yankees Starter Mariano Rivera Retiring After Managing to Hold a Roster Spot for 19 Years

Yankees reliever Mariano Rivera is finally calling it a career after miraculously being able to keep a roster spot at the Major League level for 19 years. “Not every player can ... Continue Reading →
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Blue Jays Give Retiring Mariano Rivera the Gift of Eternal Life Through Salvation

Just as every opponent has done this year in this, Mariano Rivera’s final season, the  Toronto Blue Jays presented the retiring Yankees closer with a special gift during pregame ... Continue Reading →

VIDEO: Even Legends Like Mariano Rivera Have to Adjust Their Junk Now and Then

True Yankee. Truly uncomfortable. Continue Reading →

VIDEO: Tim McCarver Quotes Metallica’s “Enter Sandman”

It’s the best dramatic reading since William Shatner’s “Rocketman.” Continue Reading →

MLB: Semenball Allegations Too Disgusting to Investigate

The Internet was abuzz yesterday as a YouTube video showing Yankees closer Mariano Rivera having what could only be called "relations" with the baseball during Game 4 of the ... Continue Reading →