Filed Under » Manny Ramirez

Less than two weeks after stepping away from baseball, former major league slugger Manny Ramirez is already pushing 700 pounds.

"He is an incredibly lazy man," said his wife, Juliana. "He hasn't gotten out of bed more than once or twice since the day he quit and he keeps having food delivered directly to the bedroom. There is a huge pile of empty takeout containers and pizza boxes all over him. He is using empty lo mein containers as a bed pan … when he even uses a bed pan."

Juliana says she is only guessing that her husbands weight is 675 pounds, as he broke the bed yesterday and, according to the manufacturer's website, the bed is made to hold no more than 670 pounds.

"That was yesterday and he's getting fatter by the day," she said. "Even if he does get the motivation to move, I don't think he'll fit out of the doorway anymore. We'll have to get a crane and take him out our big bay window."

And Ramirez, who frequently jogged after balls in the outfield and didn't run out ground balls, is showing no signs of becoming more active in his retirement. This morning he had several flatscreen televisions installed on the ceiling above his bed so he didn't have to strain to bend his neck and place it on a pillow to see his TV on the wall.

Outfielder Manny Ramirez says he is excited to be back with the White Sox.

"I had some good years on this team," he said. "I think we even won a championship. Is [Carlos] Baerga still here? He's a good guy."

White Sox general manager Ken Williams has encouraged White Sox players and team employees not to correct Ramirez and explain that the White Sox are a completely different team than the Red Sox.

"When you're dealing with someone of Manny's cognitive deficiences, it's just best to keep him comfortable," said Williams.

That plan is working, as Ramirez is already feeling at home. "Everything feels the same as it used to," he said. "The only difference is that the manager, Tommy Franconya or whatever his name is — he seems to curse a lot more. Which is cool."

The White Sox say they are working with local law enforcement to have breaking and entering charges dropped against Ramirez for an incident last night when he forced his way into a residence at 511 Chestnut Street.

"It's the address he lived at in Boston," said Williams. "He doesn't know any better. He said he was positive it was his house 'cause it had a door with a knob on it just like his house."

Los Angeles Dodgers outfielder Manny Ramirez was informed today by Dodgers owners Frank and Jamie McCourt that he will live with Mrs. McCourt once the couple's divorce is finalized.

"Divorce is always hardest on the children," said Jamie McCourt. "But I think Manny took the news like a trooper. He cried a little bit, but he was brave. I told him that I have a lot of fun toys at my new house. He'll enjoy it there."

Ramirez asked if it was his fault that the McCourt's were separating. But both Frank and Jamie assured him he was not to blame — and that they loved him very much.

Yet Ramirez sounds heartbroken.

"If I was more lovable, Frank and Jamie would want to stay together so they could see me every day," Ramirez said today, tearfully looking up from playing with a truck on his bedroom floor. "I know it's my fault. I think it's because I took those funny pills that I found in Jamie's purse. Now they're mad and they're breaking up."

Frank McCourt says losing Manny is the hardest part of the entire divorce.

"I didn't want this to happen. I'll miss everything about Manny every day," he said. "Even the stuff that sometimes seemed annoying like wiping his nose or changing his sheets because he peed in his bed. But I'll still go to the stadium every night and see him there. She can't take that away from me. I'll make sure to make those moments together special."

Ramirez says he still holds out hope of getting the McCourt's back together. But he also wonders if Jamie McCourt will find someone else.

"Maybe she will get together with someone really cool," he said. "Maybe she'll be with someone like Mark Cuban. Whoa. That would be awesome!"

There are only a few days until the start of the MLB playoffs and SportsPickle is previewing each playoff team. Today: Los Angeles Dodgers.