Picture Steve Bernier's Wikipedia Page Destruction
Wikipedia editors made him look worse than Rob Scuderi's face.
Video New Jersey Devils Coach Enjoys Beautiful LA Boob Scenery
Coming from New Jersey, he knows a thing or two about giant, fake breasts.
Opinion 5 Ways the LA Kings Can Help the LA Media Learn of Their Existence
1. Get Some Players Whose Names Are Easier to Pronounce
Everyone knows that hockey names are weird. Dustin Brown? Justin Williams? Jeff Carter? Jonathan Quick? HUH?! What language is all that supposed to be?
The Kings need some players with normal names that aren't so hard for LA media members to remember and say. Names like Kobe or Shaquille or Kareem or Pau or Metta.
2. Slow the Game Down
LA people like relaxing at the beach. They take a year to film a 90-minute movie. They love NBA basketball, in which the final minute of game action takes 30 minutes in real time. Until you knock it off with all of the non-stop action, they'll never pay any attention. Slow it down. Try to boring it up a bit. Then you'll get the LA media excited.
Picture Islanders Finally Make it Back to the Stanley Cup Finals
Denis Potvin's grandson must be an intern at this station.
News Drunk, Depressed Jack Nicholson Spotted Buying LA Kings Tickets
"I want my regular seat on the floor for … whatever it is the hockey team is doing. Stanley's cups," Nicholson told a ticket window operator at the Staples Center this morning.
"I'm sorry, sir. But your seat would be on the ice at a hockey game. They're not available," Nicholson was told.
"What? There's ice? Goddamit. Let me speak to Jerry Buss immediately! I want my seats!" screamed the actor.
Nicholson was then informed that Buss is not the owner of the Kings, which prompted him to run his hands through his hair and make angry and exasperated facial expressions for more than 10 minutes. He was then led away by Staples Center security.
Picture Jonathan Quick Now Ruining Sex Lives
It takes a while to remove all of that goalie equipment.
Picture The Sacramento Kings are the 2012 NBA Playoff Darkhorses
I knew Jimmer would get them in the playoffs somehow.
Video Hockey Player Doesn't Know How to Use a Water Bottle
He's probably a bit awkward in the bedroom.
Video Parenting 101: Always Flip-Off The Coach When Holding Your Kid
The kid's first word was "mother." His second was "f—ker."
