Video Vince Carter Has Old Man Broken Ankles
He used to be known more for going up than for falling down.
Video Kevin Durant Unleashes an All-Time Greatest Missed Dunk
I want to get a really small poster of that.
Picture USA Basketball Riding Segways, Y'all!
It's decided. The 1992 Dream Team was better.
News Kevin Durant's Mom: "He's dead to me if he doesn't win a ring"
"I don't want a loser for a son," he said. "Kevin is dead to me if he doesn't win a ring."
Mrs. Durant has been very visible during Oklahoma City's playoff run, giving her son hugs and kisses after every game. But she says that affection isn't unconditional.
"I've really put myself out there supporting Kevin," she said. "And now he's going to go and lose to Lebron James in the Finals? Lebron James? The biggest failure ever? No. No way. If my boy does me like that, humiliates me like that, I say f—k him. He's no son of mine."
News NBA Players Admit Fear Their Window of Opportunity Has Closed Barring Kevin Durant Playing Minor League Baseball
"He's so good, so clutch late in games and he's only 23," said James. "If he wins it all this year, the Thunder will probably win every title between now and at least 2020. It's really discouraging."
Many of Durant's contemporaries are already talking about ways they can somehow win a title or two in the middle of the Thunder star's reign.
"Unlike Lebron, I don't want to win five or six or seven or eight championships," said Griffin. "One or two would be great, though. How Hakeem Olajuwon was to Michael Jordan's era, I want to be that to Kevin's era. But for that to happen, I'll need him to quit basketball for a few years."
James has already contacted the Oklahoma City RedHawks, the Triple-A affiliate of the Houston Astros, to invite Durant to take batting practice in hopes that will compel Durant to take a stab at playing professionally. Griffin has sent Durant a full Birmingham Barons uniform in his size, while Kyrie Irving of the Cleveland Cavaliers has secured Durant the starting first baseman job with the Cleveland Indians.
"The Indians are excited about it," said Irving. "They think he can sell tickets, and they know he won't be worse than Casey Kotchman."
Picture Washington Newspaper is Delightfully Smarmy About OKC Thunder
Their original headline was F—K DAVID STERN.
News Thunder Announce Kevin Durant Will Miss NBA Finals Due to Hugging-Related Injury
"It's an injury he's been dealing with for a while because of all the hugging. A chronic issue," said Presti. "Bruising, cracked ribs. Over a long season, he's been hugged thousands of times. But he's been playing through it. Unfortunately, the amount of hugs he was given following our win over the Spurs aggravated everything."
Durant sustained a punctured lung when he was engulfed by the loving, yet very tight, embrace of his mother, relatives and friends. After Durant reported severe pain and lightheadedness following his postgame press conference, he was rushed to a nearby hospital where internal bleeding was discovered. Doctors believed they had the situation under control to the point where Durant would be able to play next week. But then his mother came to the hospital to comfort her son.
"She couldn't contain herself and rushed to her son to hug him," said Presti. "There went the other lung and also a kidney was ruptured."
Picture Portland Trail Blazers Fans Should Have Honked Twice
All of the honking actually blew out Greg Oden's eardrums.
