News Chiefs Apologize After 6-Team Deal Leaves Them Without Any Draft Picks
That was Andy Reid's reaction when informed of Kansas City's final take in a six-team trade that saw the Chiefs trade the No. 1 overall pick in the 2013 NFL Draft.
"How did this happen," asked the Chiefs head coach to the rest of the front office staff. "I thought we had two first rounders and three second rounders out of this?"
No one had an explanation. An intern named Kevin eventually piped up.
"It looks like early on in the trade we did have those picks, but then they were moved on to complete other aspects of the six-team deal as were all of our other picks in every other round," said Kevin. "And we forgot to get anything back except it looks like a 7th rounder in 2015 from the Falcons."
News Report: Chiefs to Trade No. 1 Overall Pick Just to Ruin All the Mock Drafts
According to several reports, the Kansas City Chiefs plan to trade down in the 2013 NFL Draft and give up the No. 1 overall pick.
"I don't know if this is the best thing for the team to do exactly," said head coach Andy Reid. "I mainly just want to take a big dump on all the idiots who have been doing mock drafts for months. What a bunch of losers, am I right?"
The Chiefs have yet to settle on the specific deal.
"We have a lot of teams who are interested in the trade because they obviously want to get in on making the draft prognosticators look like stupid assholes," said Reid. "We'll probably pick the deal that messes up the draft order the most. A five or six-team deal would be pretty awesome."
News Chiefs Leak Photos of Them Making Out with Geno Smith
"What can I say, we really like Geno Smith," said Andy Reid. "We are seriously considering drafting him with the No. 1 overall pick. One thing just seems to be leading to another. There's definite chemistry there."
Yet most NFL general managers see the photos as just the latest effort by the franchise to trick another team into trading up for Kansas City's No. 1 pick, fearing the Chiefs will take Smith even though they just acquired Alex Smith from the 49ers.
"There's no way they take Geno Smith No. 1 overall," said Philadelphia Eagles head coach Chip Kelly. "That said, snuggling with him at a nightclub seems pretty extreme if they're not serious. Maybe they just like him so much they feel they can't pass him up at No. 1. This is tough. You know, maybe we should trade up."
Smith claims the photos are Photoshopped.
"I met with them, but I told them I wasn't interested," he said. "I realize every player dreams of being the No. 1 overall pick. But if that dream involves the Kansas City Chiefs? No. No one dreams of that."
News 49ers Trade Alex Smith and Colin Kaepernick to the Chiefs Just to Torture Smith
"Yes! I can't wait to play for the Chiefs!" Smith exclaimed when told of the trade.
"Son of a BITCH," he added, when informed of the full details of trade.
San Francisco head coach Jim Harbaugh said the deal was just too good to pass up.
"It was completely worth it for the look on Alex's face when I told him he was traded to the Chiefs he was so excited only to then tell him that Colin was going, too," said Harbaugh. "I will never forget the look of joy to complete depression in a moment. So hilarious. It made my day."
Harbaugh admits that including his young starting quarterback in the trade will likely hurt his team in the short-run.
"But, hey, we didn't win the Super Bowl with Colin anyway, so I felt that screwing with Alex like this would be the perfect way to get us over that loss and get us laughing and having fun again," said the coach. "And it was. Seriously, you should have seen the look on Alex's face. I hope someone got a picture of it. Priceless."
News Kansas City Chiefs Announce They're Becoming a Rec League Rugby Team
"Look, it obviously wasn't an easy decision," said team chairman Clark Hunt, whose family has owned the franchise since 1963. "But there's no reason to fool ourselves. Football is clearly not our sport. However, we've got a lot of big, strong guys and I saw a flier about this rugby rec league at the super market and I thought, why not?"
The Chiefs will cease football operations immediately, meaning they will forfeit their final two games of the season, as they begin preparing for the rugby league which begins play in early March.
"I don't know any of the rules of rugby," said head coach Romeo Crennel. "I don't know how you score, I don't know any plays, if there are plays, I don't know if there is defense. I know absolutely nothing about the sport. So in a way, I feel just as qualified to coach rugby to this team as I do football."
Picture Merica: The Jersey
'Merica is, and always will be, better than the Kansas City Chiefs.
Picture Kansas City Chiefs are Now Killing Old Men
The Royals probably deserve some blame, too.
Video Chiefs Safety Eric Berry is Terrified of Horses
And the Chiefs are terrified of wins. Zing.




