Picture Kentucky Plaque Shockingly Has Two Typos
Its not known as one of th dumber states for no reason.
News Boeheim, Calipari Angrily Dispute NCAA Ad Claim That Some of Their Players Get Jobs Outside of Sports
"That is an outright lie, at least when it comes to my program," said Calipari at press conference. "I don't want the heads of my potential recruits being filled with lies. I fully intend on making them professional basketball players. In fact, if they do go pro in something other than sports, I feel like I've been a failure. That is my promise to them. And you can quote me on that. In fact, please do."
Boeheim echoed Calipari's comments in a separate press conference.
"To be honest, there's nothing I like about that ad," said the longtime Syracuse coach. "Why are we telling kids to pursue something other than their dreams? Do you think I have any players on this team who want to be chemists? No. At least I better not. I want them focusing on basketball, not whatever the hell they do in chemistry. Chemicals or something. I don't know."
News Dominant Kentucky Showing the Potential to be John Calipari's Most Disappointing NCAA Tournament Team Yet
"I don't want to speak to soon, because there's a long way still to go and anything can happen," said Kentucky head coach John Calipari. "But I think this team can ultimately be the most disappointing team I've ever had, which would really be saying something."
Barring injury to a star player or an unexpected slump, the Wildcats should enter the NCAA Tournament in March as a heavy favorite. Kentucky has won 16 in a row and its last seven by an average margin of 20 points.
"I don't know how we'll blow it, but I'm pretty confident that we will," said Calipari. "Most likely I'll play an integral role with some curious late-game decision making. What exactly? There's no way to know. That's what makes it all so exciting. All I do know is that sometime in late March or early April, I'm going to ruin another pair of $3,000 suit pants by shatting in them."
Video John Calipari Introduced as the Head Coach of the Memphis Tigers
Maybe it was throwback night.
Picture All of These Crops Will One Day be Vacated
He'll just move on to another field.
Video John Calipari Calls Player a "Selfish Motherf*cker"
It's the pot calling another pot a pot.
News Bad Clams Force John Calipari to Vacate His Bowels
Kentucky head coach John Calipari was stripped of the contents of his stomach and bowels this morning when some bad clams he ate at dinner last night suddenly hit him.
Despite the messy situation that ruined a pair of $1,200 suit pants and sent him running to the bathroom in the middle of a press conference, disgusting bodily fluids pooling behind him, Calipari claimed to be without fault in the events that led to the incident.
"I am surprised as anyone that this happened," he said. "You go to some little Italian restaurant in upstate New York that has a notice in the window about failing code inspection and how was I to know that I shouldn't order the clams casino and demand that the clams be extra rare? I'm sorry this happened to the people I vomited on on the way to the bathroom. But I'm as much of a victim here as anyone. My reputation is at stake."
While the restaurant will likely have to shut down and everyone around Calipari must wash off the stench of his vomit and feces, the coach himself will likely make out quite well in the end. He feels much better after vacating his bowels, is moving on to a different restaurant tonight one of Syracuse's best and is set to earn a significant payday in a lawsuit against the restaurant whose food sickened him.
"I realize that a lot of people got hurt along the way in my wake one guy actually slipped in my diarrhea in the hallway, fell and hurt his back," said Calipari. "But I just want everyone to know that I am feeling great. Better than ever, actually. I can't stop smiling."
Calipari said he did his part by cleaning up the bathroom with some old UMass and Memphis apparel he had laying around.
News John Calipari: In Pictures
Kentucky head coach John Calipari is one of the most successful coaches in college basketball. He is also one of the most controversial, having fled NCAA sanctions at both UMass and Memphis for higher-paying jobs elsewhere.
What can we learn about this man through pictures?


