Next he will hand him his dentures.
What rhymes with "eliminated from playoff contention"?
This photo isn't nearly as disturbing as watching the Cowboys play football.
Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones has announced that The Great Texas Tractor Pull will be held this February 6th at Cowboys Stadium.
"I am excited to announce this all-day event," said Jones. "I really want to showcase Cowboys Stadium to tractor pull fans of the world."
Super Bowl XLV had been scheduled for the stadium on the same date, but Jones says that event will have to be held elsewhere.
"It's an unfortunate conflict for the NFL folks. But I don't think the Super Bowl will have a problem finding a new host," said Jones. "There are several good high school stadiums near here that they could use. I think one of them even has a nice FieldTurf surface."
After selling more than 30,000 “Party Passes” for $29 to help set the NFL’s single-game attendance record on opening night, Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones announced today that the team will now offer special $20 home passes to anyone who would like to attend a game at Cowboys Stadium while sitting at home.
“This stadium represents the next generation of sports entertainment complexes,” said Jones in a radio interview.“We know there’s a real buzz about this place across the Dallas area now, so we want as many people to be able to enjoy this new facility as possible.Even if they can’t afford a premium seat, or even a Party Pass.This $20 price point is a great way to come visit Cowboys Stadium by looking at it on television.”
Customers living in Dallas who purchase the home passes will be able to watch the entire stadium at home via a special relay signal from their local FOX affiliate, and will be able to walk the stadium grounds by watching a FOX camera crew walk the stadium grounds.“That way,” explained Jones, “you’re as close to the action as possible.You’re gonna see the natural light coming in from the sides, the steel trusses… everything.We’re gonna give you your money’s worth, that’s for damn sure.”
But the passes do come with certain restrictions.Customers parking at the Cowboys Stadium lot to go watch the game at home will pay a separate $75 fee.Customers who purchase the home passes will also not be allowed to access any of the stadiums concierge-level stadium clubs, bathrooms, or concession stands.Nor are they allowed into the stadium itself.
For an extra $10, customers who purchase the home passes can also get a special Video Board Pass, that allows them to watch the entire game on the Stadium’s now legendary video board via their home television.
“Oh, it’s incredible,” said Video Board Pass test customer Mary Lynch.“You would not believe how big this screen was.And it was so clear!It’s not like watching the game on a regular television thru a regular television.You have to see it in person on television to understand.”
And for a flat $500 fee, customers can also elect to subscribe to Jones’ new Cowboys Stadium Network cable channel, which runs a live feed of the outside of the stadium 24 hours a day.
Subscriber David Hammond was impressed.“I’ll be damned if Jerry didn’t pull it off,” he said.“Look at that thing.It is gorgeous.And only $500 for a whole year for a season pass?Not a bad price for a working class guy like me.”
“We really wanted to take the fan experience to the next level, “ says Jones.“What you’re seeing here is the perfect blend of stadium and technology.We have to give people more of a reason to come to the games now, even if they don’t want to physically do so.These home passes are the perfect solution.”
Despite complaints that having his owner's suite right in the middle of the field will disrupt play, Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones says he has no plans to move his luxury suite.
"I built this stadium. So I want the best seat in the house," said Jones. "The players can play around me."
While Jones admitted there would be some issues with any new facility even one with a price tag of $1.2 billion he insisted his sprawling owner's suite across the center of the field is not one of them.
"Leather seating. Marble countertops. Two deluxe bathrooms. Six flat-screen TVs and full-service wait staff?" said Jones. "I fail to see the problem."
Yet there seemed to be some definite issues in the opening game at the new stadium, as players repeatedly crashed into the glass-enclosed structure, injuring themselves. Both teams had difficulty moving the ball past midfield and Jones' personal waitress was killed when she stepped out to get his crab cakes and was run over by Titans linebacker Keith Bulluck as he pursued a ball-carrier up the sidelines.
Tennessee head coach Jeff Fisher says Jones' suite presents some challenges.
"This luxury box is 150-feet wide, so that only leaves five feet of open field on each side along the sidelines," said Fisher. "And their outside linebackers just wait there. So the only other way downfield is to throw over his box, but it's hard to see the receivers because he's got 50 guests in there and TVs and a bar and stuff."
Jones feels teams will adjust.
"How much of a game is played at midfield anyway?" he said. "From what I have watched of football, all of the scoring is done in the end zones. The middle of the field is almost a waste of space. I feel like I am the first owner to utilize that space to its potential."