"I remember when we had Linsanity merchandise wall-to-wall," said Jeff Huntsman, owner of a New York City sports apparel shop. "Jerseys, keychains, mugs, bumper stickers you name it, we had it. Actually have it it's still here. It's just over there in that discount bin now."
The 24 year-old Lin hit New York by surprise after putting up record breaking numbers in his first seven starts last season, despite seemingly coming out of nowhere. Lin's play and affable nature led to a media frenzy, inciting the term "Linsanity."
Unexpectedly, the Knicks failed to re-sign Lin this year, instead losing him to the Houston Rockets, where his stats have dropped significantly since his start in New York, officially bringing an end to the Linsanity that really only seemed to last a couple months.
"It's still unclear what purchases led to Lin's $1.37 check, but you can be certain it was something that was 10 times the price 11 months ago," said sports marketing consultant Ian McGregor. "Perhaps a t-shirt? A jersey? Perhaps a game used jersey? It's hard to say. It could've been a lot of things with how fast his merchandise lost its value."
"I just hope his copyright proposal was approved in those first few months," continued McGregor, "otherwise I'm not sure he's made his money back. I know it costs around 40 bucks or so to file a copyright."
Nerds are dumb.
"Oh, wow, is that right?" said Knicks forward Carmelo Anthony. "I didn't realize he was still in the league. Well, good for him. If I don't see him on the court or recognize him tell, uhh you know tell Jerry I said 'hi.'"
The Rockets guard said he is excited to be in New York.
"I love it here. It's a great city. I've lived here my whole life," said a man who turned out to not be the player in question, as know one seems to remember what he looks like.
"Short, fat, black man, right?" said Knicks general manager Glen Grunwald. "Wait, no. You're right. That's our current point guard. I honestly don't remember the player you're referring to. Hey, do me a favor, if you see him near me, point him out and tell me his name. I don't want to be rude. Thanks."
"Jeremy Lin is only 23 years old and has shown flashes that he could be a very special player," said Knicks owner James Dolan. "You have to make every possible attempt to get a player like that on your team."
Rockets general manager Daryl Morey says that he is "very confused" by the offer and "regardless, under no circumstances do I want Raymond Felton on my team, nor should any team, in all due respect."
The Knicks say that in addition to Lin's talents, youth and vast marketability, what attracts them to him is his contract.
"The first two years of his contract are really cheap," said Knicks general manager Glen Grunwald. "Sure, it goes up a lot in the third year, but he could prove to be more than worth that jump in salary. That's a risk we have to be willing to take. Again, this guy has shown he has immense potential on the court, without mentioning all he obviously provides off the court."
He should be a TV analyst.
Hipsters love Harvard basketball players.
"I'm out of a job," confirmed Jeff Sierman, who ran the Post's 32-person Jeremy Lin pun staff. "I thought the Knicks would keep Jeremy forever and that I would have as much job security as you can in this business. But, suddenly, I'm jobless and desperate for linterviews."
The New York Daily News also is reportedly about to get rid of it's 14-person Jeremy Lin pun staff.
"I wish the Knicks realized there are a lot of jobs on the line here," said Daily News Chief Lin Pun and Wordplay Editor Michael Ranuado. "And for the record, when I said 'line' there, I mean for the L-I-N part to be accentuated."
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