His awfulness unites us all.
"Cam isn't the only second-year quarterback in the NFL being criticized," said Moon. "Look at Blaine Gabberd or Glabber or whatever his name is. That disaster playing quarterback for the Jaguars. That guy sucks major ass and people are saying he sucks major ass. And it has nothing to do with the color of his skin. White, black, red, yellow, purple it wouldn't matter. He's completely worthless and that fact is being acknowledged independent of race."
If there's any racial tones in play with Gabbert, said Moon, it would be that "maybe because he is white, he doesn't get criticized enough for how awful he is."
"You could dump on that guy 24 hours a day and still you wouldn't get to all the ways he sucks," said Moon. "That said, I don't necessarily think he's being mocked to a lesser degree because he is white. It's more that people don't want to be rude and overdo it. Not only is the guy talentless, he plays for the Jacksonville Jaguars. How much scorn does one person deserve, even if that person is as shitty at quarterback as Blake Zabbard is? I mean, okay, we've established the guy blows. What more can really be said?"
[Musical intro, mixed with play-by-play calls]
Welcome to the Mike Mularkey Show on the Jaguars Radio Network. Join head coach Mike Mularkey and Brian Sexton, voice of the Jaguars, for the latest news and information on your Jacksonville Jaguars straight from the head coach. The Mike Mularkey Show is brought to you by we still have no sponsors. Now let's get the show started. Here is Brian Sexton.
Good evening. Welcome to The Mike Mularkey Show. Coach Mularkey, how are you doing tonight?
I'm good, Brian. So we're actually doing this, huh?
Yes we are, coach. All the other NFL franchises have coaches shows, so we thought we should do one, too. It makes us seem more like a real team.
But no one is listening, is that correct?
Yes, sir. You are correct. We don't have any sponsors so we couldn't afford to do a real show. Also, there is no such thing as the Jaguars Radio Network. Maybe one day. But we're not there yet.
We don't have even one radio station? That announcer guy in the open sounded real.
Not a traditional station, no. However, if you stand close enough to the stadium on a game day, you can hear the public address announcer. And that was me doing my low announcer's voice. See? LIKE THIS.
Plus, it's your first year here and it's not exactly like you're a big name no offense so probably no one would listen anyway. Well, let's get the show rolling and talk about the Week 1 game against the Vikings. Tough loss. Overtime loss. But what are some positives to take out of the game?
Well, I thought we saw Blaine Gabbert make some progre- wait. Why are we doing this? If no one is listening and we don't have a radio station, I feel like I'm wasting my time.
It's not a waste of time, coach. I have this tape recorder here. Every word you're saying is being captured. We never know, someone could want to hear it one day. We get all kinds of strange requests. Just last week someone called the office about season tickets. It was nuts.
#1 The Support Group Approach
Be there. Together. Because if you're alone and watch this team, well let's not even think about it.
Their ticket number probably doubles as a suicide hotline.
Jones-Drew, the 2011 NFL rushing leader, learned of fantasy football last season and reportedly became quickly "obsessed" with the online sport.
"Maurice is a fierce competitor. No matter what he's doing," said Jaguars center, Brad Meester, who introduced the Jaguars running back to the game. "Whether he's on the field running over linebackers or on a computer making really solid waiver claims, he's playing to win."
Jones-Drew entered this fantasy season ranked fifth among all players behind just Arian Foster, Ray Rice, LeSean McCoy and Aaron Rodgers but the holdout has dropped his draft position closer to the end of the first round, sometimes into the second. The drop in rankings is a positive one for Jones-Drew who is reported to hold late picks in many of his leagues.
"It's all about value," said ESPN fantasy analyst, Matthew Berry. "With others avoiding him due to holdout concerns, he'll be able to draft himself late in the first and perhaps a top 4 quarterback early in the second. If what's being reported is actually true, it's a very smart move for Maurice Jones-Drew."
The Jaguars have fans AND great fan signs? Amazing. I am amazed.
I have the R-chip, which blocks all Ravens games.
"I didn't have any problems getting my game wrap posted," said Jags-Talk's founder and sole writer, John Mulhally. "And good thing, because that win over the Texans was huge."
4Chan users targeted the blog after Mulhally had expressed anger over a picture of an overweight Jaguars fan originally posted on Jags-Talk had found its way to 4Chan where the woman's appearance was being ruthlessly mocked.
"That sort of thing gives the Internet a bad name," said Mulhally. "I think the web can be an outlet for positive ideas. I still feel bad about my post earlier this year saying Jack Del Rio should be fired. I'm glad it only got 7 page views."
Those comments, which many 4Chan users described as "gay", set off last night's DDoS attack on Jags-Talk. But the site is unbowed.
The Jacksonville Jaguars passed over local legend Tim Tebow in the NFL Draft, but they have signed a new player they hope will finally get some fans in the stands at Jacksonville Municipial Stadium: a real vampire.
"Vampires are the biggest thing going right now," said Jaguars general manager Gene Smith. "My daughter talks constantly about Twilight and True Blood and all those shows. Some people says it's just because she's unattractive and unpopular, but so what. We'll take any fans we can get."