Picture Eli-Peyton Noogie Tattoo
So now the noogieee has become the noogier
Oil, who died in 2002, is best remembered not for his accomplishments on the field but for the legacy he created after he retired, providing opportunities for thousands of underprivileged youths to excel at the game of football.
Commissioner Roger Goodell announced Tuesday morning in a press conference that a pregame ceremony would be held in Oil's honor, featuring an intimate performance by Grammy Award-winning singer-songwriter James Taylor and a series of tributes from players both present and past whose lives have been touched by ol' number 14. Further, Oil's widow, Henrietta Oil, and their four children will be in attendance.
"Without Oil's vigilant commitment to bringing the game to the underserved areas of our nation's communities, some of today's brightest talents, like Dwayne Bowe, Jimmy Graham, and Tiquan Underwood, might've never had the chance to play competitively," said Goodell. "And let us not forget about Oil's company, Lucas Oil, and all of the high performance products with which it has blessed our engines."
Irsay's slaughter and decapitation continues weeks of upheaval at the team's West 56th Street complex. Personnel executives Bill and Chris Polian were let go the day after the regular season ended and, after Irsay hired former Eagles player personnel director Ryan Grigson as the team's new GM, head coach Jim Caldwell was fired.
Grigson is now believed to be hiding somewhere in the Colts' facility as Manning, Manning's father Archie and the family's hired assassin search door-to-door for him.
FOX Sports' Jay Glazer was the first to report Irsay's murder, as he was on the phone with the owner when the Mannings and their hired goon arrived and overheard Irsay's cries for help.
"Fans see sports as fun, but it's a business," said Glazer. "Sometimes moves are made that might seem heartless or cruel. But show me a star player who hasn't been involved in the death of someone who has tried to get in their way. You can't."
Another proud moment in Colts history.
Usually weathermen have much more dignity than this.
So it turns out the Colts are not the most embarrassing thing about Indianapolis this year. What an upset.
Colts fans might take their chances with the fish coaching.
Picture Bob Sanders as "Mr. Glass"
Before this year, Peyton Manning was the Bruce Willis character.