Picture James Harden Haircut
Wait there are still rookie cards?
"Jeremy Lin is only 23 years old and has shown flashes that he could be a very special player," said Knicks owner James Dolan. "You have to make every possible attempt to get a player like that on your team."
Rockets general manager Daryl Morey says that he is "very confused" by the offer and "regardless, under no circumstances do I want Raymond Felton on my team, nor should any team, in all due respect."
The Knicks say that in addition to Lin's talents, youth and vast marketability, what attracts them to him is his contract.
"The first two years of his contract are really cheap," said Knicks general manager Glen Grunwald. "Sure, it goes up a lot in the third year, but he could prove to be more than worth that jump in salary. That's a risk we have to be willing to take. Again, this guy has shown he has immense potential on the court, without mentioning all he obviously provides off the court."
Hipsters love Harvard basketball players.
"Love stomach"? Nut sack, you just got a new name.
It's surprising he never got injured riding a shark bareback.
Joke's on him. He has no genitals.
Basketball player Ye Li, the 6'2" wife of 7'6" Rockets centerYaoMing, has given birth to a healthy seven-foot baby girl.
The child was delivered by a team of 95 doctors, nurses, and assistants, as well as a Ford F-150 pickup truck early this morning at the The Woman’s Hospital of Texas in Houston. Li became only the second woman to give birth to baby over 12 pounds, with her child weighing in at 196 pounds, three ounces.
A spokesman for the hospital told reporters that doctors were "extremely proud" and "really fking tired" after the 288-hour labor.
The newborn, named Xiao Hua or "tiny flower", provideda scare after delivery when she stopped breathing, but she was quickly resuscitated by doctors with the help of a sledgehammer and a leaf blower. Doctors are now confident that baby will survive, especially after she showed signs of strength when she crushed a soda can with just one grip.
"It's a beautiful baby girl," said Dr. Sherene Lassen, chief of the department of obstetrics and gynecology, who cared for the mother since the first trimester. "Just a giant beast of a baby. And we couldn't have done it without the help of the large animal veterinarians from the Houston Zoo."
Though the delivery went better than expected, doctors cautioned the baby might still require assistance with breathing and could face additional problems, including a soft spot on her head the size of a softball, sleeping problems due to college scouts and NBA general managers calling at all hours, and being hungry pretty much 24 hours a day.
Dr. Lassen described the mother, who was admitted to hospital eight weeks before the birth and was conscious during most of the delivery, as "very comfortable". Ye Li remains passed out and was unavailable for comment.