Filed Under » houston rockets

Basketball player Ye Li, the 6’2” wife of 7’6” Rockets centerYaoMing, has given birth to a healthy seven-foot baby girl.

The child was delivered by a team of 95 doctors, nurses, and assistants, as well as a Ford F-150 pickup truck early this morning at the The Woman’s Hospital of Texas in Houston. Li became only the second woman to give birth to baby over 12 pounds, with her child weighing in at 196 pounds, three ounces.

A spokesman for the hospital told reporters that doctors were “extremely proud” and “really f—king tired” after the 288-hour labor.

The newborn, named Xiao Hua or “tiny flower”, provideda scare after delivery when she stopped breathing, but she was quickly resuscitated by doctors with the help of a sledgehammer and a leaf blower. Doctors are now confident that baby will survive, especially after she showed signs of strength when she crushed a soda can with just one grip.

“It’s a beautiful baby girl,” said Dr. Sherene Lassen, chief of the department of obstetrics and gynecology, who cared for the mother since the first trimester. “Just a giant beast of a baby. And we couldn’t have done it without the help of the large animal veterinarians from the Houston Zoo.”

Though the delivery went better than expected, doctors cautioned the baby might still require assistance with breathing and could face additional problems, including a soft spot on her head the size of a softball, sleeping problems due to college scouts and NBA general managers calling at all hours, and being hungry pretty much 24 hours a day.

Dr. Lassen described the mother, who was admitted to hospital eight weeks before the birth and was conscious during most of the delivery, as “very comfortable”. Ye Li remains passed out and was unavailable for comment.

In an effort to speed up the process of a proposed three-team trade, Houston Rockets GM Daryl Morey and Washington Wizards GM Ernie Grunfeld plan on inviting Knicks GM Donnie Walsh over for dinner tonight, with the ultimate goal of using alcohol to persuade him to join them in a three-way.

“We think Donnie’s great and I’m really into the idea of adding a formidable swingman like Caron Butler to our roster,” said Morey. “So I’m hoping a little liquid courage will do the trick. I can tell in his eyes he wants to do this. He just needs a push.”

Friends of Walsh say he has been thinking about having a three-way with the two for some time now, but has not yet been able to pull the trigger due to concerns regarding his relationship with the Knicks when it’s over.

“Donnie’s worried the long-term effects of letting Al Harrington go will be too much emotionally. You can’t undo a three-way,” said Glen Grunwald, the Knicks VP of Basketball Operations. “That’s something that stays with you forever. I know from my past. But I don’t regret it. Any of them.”

Grunfeld said this is the first time in years he’s entertained the thought of trading with multiple partners.

“I remember in 2005 Jerry West tried to get me into that five-way with the Hornets, Celtics, Heat, Jazz, and Grizzlies. But man, that’s just too much,” he said. “I remember seeing Danny Ainge there, and he’s Mormon, and thinking it just wasn’t for me.”

Sources close to each organization said even if the GMs can’t reach an agreement in the coming days they still plan on trying anal during All-Star Weekend.