Opinion Sponsored Content: 11 Ways the 2013 Houston Astros Are Awesome!
2. The 2013 Astros will have an All-Star!
3. This year the Astros have beaten nine different MLB teams! The Rangers, Mariners, Angels, Indians, Yankees, Tigers, Pirates and Royals have all fallen to the Astros!
4. The Astros beat the New York Yankees, 9-1, on April 29, 2013. The Yankees have a $200 million payroll and own the most championships in baseball history, yet they lost by eight runs to the Astros!
5. None of the Astros' players have tested positive for steroids this year!
Video Astros Snow Cone Vendor Takes a No. 2 with His Snow Cones
The Astros have been taking a No. 2 for years now, so no big deal.
Picture The Astros GIF to End All Astros GIFs
It is the Astros GIF that defined a generation.
Video Astros Fan Shows Fake Hot Dog Wang on Camera
Is it a hot dog? Maybe he has a prosthetic wang.
Poll Which last-place MLB team has the best chance to make the playoffs?
- Rays - it's easy for the talented Rays to turn it around and stay positive because there are no fans in the stands to boo or heckle them
- Marlins - they have an evil owner who knowingly fielded a team of nobodies ... it's basically the plot of "Major League"!
- Indians - they are the Cleveland Indians and they're in last place ... it's basically the plot of "Major League"!
- Astros - at some point all of those strikeouts will probably start falling in for hits
- Padres - they'll turn things around as soon as they move the Petco fences in to 200-feet when they're batting and back to 700-feet when the opponent is batting
- Cubs - they'll start winning once they get to play all those NL Central games against the Astros and then go on a tear from there. What? Ohmigod. Poor Cubs.
News Struggling Astros Just Trying to Get Through These Last 155 Games
"This team has been through a lot already. We've been getting humiliated as professional baseball players, as men, day after day after day," said manager Bo Porter. "It's tough physically and mentally. But as I told the team today, we're more than 4-percent of the way through this thing. We've got a little less than six months now. Only 155 games and we're done. So just be strong and finish."
Porter says his motivational speech was met with mixed reactions.
"A few guys just silently wept," he said. "Some just stared ahead, not moving. A few others asked if they could quit. One guy, I think he is a pitcher, slit his throat and bled out on the floor in front of his locker. Not exactly the high energy reaction I had hope for from the guys, but I'm new at this managing thing."
Picture Astros Fans See Winning Mustache
If that mustache isn't batting cleanup tomorrow, the Astros don't want to win.
