The Astros have been taking a No. 2 for years now, so no big deal.
It is the Astros GIF that defined a generation.
They make failure look fun.
Is it a hot dog? Maybe he has a prosthetic wang.
- - -
"This team has been through a lot already. We've been getting humiliated as professional baseball players, as men, day after day after day," said manager Bo Porter. "It's tough physically and mentally. But as I told the team today, we're more than 4-percent of the way through this thing. We've got a little less than six months now. Only 155 games and we're done. So just be strong and finish."
Porter says his motivational speech was met with mixed reactions.
"A few guys just silently wept," he said. "Some just stared ahead, not moving. A few others asked if they could quit. One guy, I think he is a pitcher, slit his throat and bled out on the floor in front of his locker. Not exactly the high energy reaction I had hope for from the guys, but I'm new at this managing thing."
Picture Astros Fans See Winning Mustache
If that mustache isn't batting cleanup tomorrow, the Astros don't want to win.
Maybe he's just showing that they got one hit.
"This is my first managing job," said Bo Porter, Houston's new skipper. "So I think I offer a kind of outsider's view, but one thing I do know about baseball is that home runs are good. It's my goal to have this team do a lot of them. But that takes practice and execution."
Porter is taking over a 55-107 team that is faced with moving to the AL West from the NL Central this season.
"I'm not looking for slightly improvement," said Porter. "I want to compete for the playoffs right away. And this explosive home run play can get us there."
The Astros spent Day 1 in camp breaking down film of home runs.
"I noticed that they go over the fence!" exclaimed shortstop Jacob Elmore. "That's the key."
Day 2 of camp consisted of Porter running through the various home run plays he had conceived in the offseason, titled Home Run Left, Home Run Left-Center, Home Run Center, Home Run Right-Center and Home Run Right.
"The play names are confusing, but I hope to learn them by Opening Day," said an outfielder named Oscar Cespedes or something like that.