November 27, 2009 Column
Tweet of the Week
Tweet of the Week
From @leroybutler AKA former All-Pro safety LeRoy Butler
Why shouldn't this be the ad? Most people who buy Wrangler jeans eventually make them into jorts anyway.
Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers was sacked six more times Sunday in Green Bay's disheartening loss to the Buccaneers, raising his total to an NFL-worst 37 sacks through just eight games.
But only four of the sacks were attributed to Tampa Bay.
"If Aaron is going to go down, I may as well do the hitting. It's more fun that way," said Packers left tackle Chad Clifton, who tallied two late sacks against his quarterback. "And more often than not, the guy I'm blocking is going to sack him anyway. This cuts out the middle man."
Clifton leveled Rodgers on each of Green Bay's final two drives, peeling off the line and driving through his quarterback from the blind side just moments after the snap.
"I didn't expect it. Chad hit me hard. And fast," said Rodgers. "But, to be honest, and no offense to Chad, I've actually been sacked a lot quicker this year. I was almost able to finish my drop when he got me. That's a rare treat."
Clifton hopes his two sacks can raise some eyes around the league.
"I'm obviously not cut out to be an offensive lineman in the NFL," he said. "None of us on this line are. That's quite apparent. But I have the body type of an NFL lineman and I hope I can get a look somewhere next season as a defensive lineman after I'm cut by the Packers. But I just have to keep racking up the stats."
Green Bay head coach Mike McCarthy isn't so sure Clifton has a future on the other side of the line of scrimmage either.
"Sure, he got those two sacks," said McCarthy. "But he tried to sack Aaron on more than 20 different plays. That's not a good rate. He always either tripped or got picked up easily by Ryan Grant blocking. He's happy about his performance, but I thought it was even worse than how he normally plays, if you can believe that."
Less than 20 minutes after rolling off of his wife and kissing her goodnight, former Green Bay Packers quarterback Brett Favre is seriously considering a return to her body for one more go.
“I thought I had my fill,” said Favre. “But I’m still a relatively young man. There are still some things I can do. Still some things I can accomplish. I don’t think I want to go out the way I did.”
The Favres had quite a romp in bed throughout the night, but just when things looked to be set up perfectly for his wife to achieve orgasm, Favre blew it with a disastrous premature ejaculation.
“We had a great ride, but it ended terribly,” he said. “I have always liked to push it and go right up to the edge, but sometimes I go too far. That’s why I’ve had a fair number of premature ejaculations in my career. But I have also given some amazing orgasms, too.”
In the minutes after their disappointing finish, Favre’s wife tried to gauge her husband’s interest in returning for one more try. He quickly turned her down.
“It was a long haul and I was mentally and physically drained,” said Favre. “I had shot my load. And I honestly didn’t feel like doing it all over again. I was content with how I left things. I just wanted to relax and maybe watch some TV.”
But soon Favre started to feel the desire to get back on and go.
“I love it – what can I tell you?” he said. “I love the excitement. I love the sweat. I love getting cheered on to succeed. There’s nothing I like more. I just have a strong, deep desire inside of me. And it’s usually exhibited by an erection.”
But despite Favre’s desire to give it one more try, his wife isn’t so sure.
“I had some decisions to make and I had to move on. I couldn’t lay here and wait,” she said. “I think I was pretty close to something great back there, so I decided to turn to this vibrator I got a few years ago and see if it could finish the job. It’s not Brett Favre, but I think it will do a fine job. Ohhhhhh, yes. It’s doing quite nicely. Ohhhhhh my yes. I mean, I guess Brett can come back if he wants to, but the job isn’t necessarily his anymore. Oooooooh. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yessssss!”
With Brett Favre long gone, Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers may have thought he would no longer have to deal with an unretiring quarterback muddling his ascent in Green Bay. But that no longer seems to be the case as former starter Don Majkowski has announced his plans to return to the Packers.
Majkowski has entered into a bitter dispute with his former organization, admitting he is “guilty of retiring too early” 13 years ago, while demanding he be reinstated as the team’s starter or given the opportunity to play elsewhere.
“I was mentally drained after the 1996 season,” says Majkowski.“I couldn’t commit myself fully at that time to coming back, so I stepped away. That’s the kind of guy I am. I have to be able to promise that I’m going to give my all.”
But before long,Majkowskistarted to have second thoughts.
“I guess it was nine or 10 years later, I called up Packers GM Ted Thompson and told him I was thinking of coming back. That would have been 2005 or 2006, I guess,” said Majkowski.“But he just sighed and said it was too late. That the team had moved on to Brett Favre and had even drafted this Aaron Rodgers kid to follow in place of Favre. I couldn’t believe he wasn’t even open to considering my return after all I’ve done for the franchise.”
Majkowskiplayed six seasons in Green Bay from 1987 to 1992, earning the beloved nickname “Majik Man,” and leading the league in yards, completions and attempts in 1989, which earned him a Pro Bowl nod at age 25. He also was inducted into the team’s Hall of Fame.
But despite all of that, not even two full decades after Majkowski leftthe team the Packers says they are committed to Rodgers. So the Majik Man felt he had to go public, share his side of the story and make his case to his dedicated fans in Green Bay.
“Nothing against Aaron, I feel a little bit sorry for the position I have put him in,” says Majkowski.“I do. But I threw for 4,318 yards in 1989. That was only 19 years ago. Aaron has never accomplished anything like that at this level. This team can be something special and we need the veteran presence I can provide.”
While the Packers insist they have no interest in bringing Majkowski back, he says he may just show up at training camp later this month to call their “bluff.”
“It’s going to be a circus there already as it is,” he said. “And if I show, do you really think they won’t hand the team back over to me? I am Don freaking Majkowski.There wasn’t a girl in all of Northern Wisconsin who wouldn’t remove her tight-rolled jeans for me back in the late ‘80s. I don'tthink they can afford the negative fan reaction that would come from dumping me,” he added, pointing to fan protest outside Lambeau Field on Sunday that boasted numbers in the single digits, including his immediate family.
And if showing up at Packers camp doesn’t work, Majkowski says he will show up at the camps of the other 31 NFL teams to call their “bluffs,” too.
“None of them say they want me back either,” he said. “Well, I am very persistent. I think the fact that I'm still wearing a mullet proves that."