Opinion Golf Playbook
Picture Tiger's Walk of Shame
Why is he alone at this Ryder Cup dinner? Doesn't he actually have more date options than the other guys?
Indiana resident and Arab Muslim Abdul Al-Homini was released from jail today after being the prime suspect in a case involving the explosion of a trick golf ball at a golf course in Terre Haute last month.
The incident, which police estimate happened around 3:15 pm, was originally felt by Bob Carlson, a Home Depot manager whose swing impact set off the explosion. "It was so surreal", said Johnson. "I'm just golfing with some buddies of mine and boom! The ball just goes off. I'll never get that image out of my head."
September 24, 2010 Column
Tweet of the Week
... It's chill as fudge!
She is officially single again! YAY!
So feel free to try these pickup lines on her. You're welcome in advance.
People were saying Tiger Woods was washed up. Over. That he was no longer the best golfer in the world. That he wouldn't even make the cut at the PGA Championship.
Then he went out and played.
Here is his official scorecard.
The white guy a few people ahead of you in line at the supermarket might be a PGA Tour golfer. Not like a real good one, but you've seen him on TV before. His name is Ken or something. Maybe Dave?
He's dressed exactly like he dresses when he plays: khakis and a polo shirt. Is it weird that he would be wearing the same thing? Maybe not. Maybe he's just on his way back from a round and was stopping in to pick up some what does he have there milk, eggs and gum. That's a perfectly reasonable thing for a golfer to buy at the store. Or anyone really.
And it's not like he has an assistant to go to the store for him. I mean, he's not a top golfer. Is it Brian something? Yeah, that might be it. He played with Tiger or Phil that one time.
It's kind of cool seeing a professional athlete this close. You saw former Twins infielder Steve Lombardozzi at a movie 15 years ago, but he was way across the theatre. This guy (Mike?) is almost right next to you. It's kind of funny how he has a little bit of a paunch. But, hey it's golf. And it would be cooler to see an NFL or NBA player; this guy is, like, maybe 5'11". And he's in his 40s. But still. Pretty cool.
You're definitely telling people about this. It's probably even worth a Facebook post. If only you were sure of his name. Kevin Stricker? Is that a person?
Wait why is he waving at you? Does he know you? How could that be possible? He can't see you watching through the TV. Right?
Oh, wait. It's your old accountant. That's where you recognized him from. Never mind.
Now you can't tell people you saw Kevin Stricker (David Mahan?) at the supermarket. That sucks.
Nike Golf launched a massive, new ad campaign today the company hopes will jumpstart sales for the struggling division. The ads, centered on the tagline "I Am Not Tiger Woods", will focus on how absolutely no one of any age, gender or color would want to be like Tiger Woods in any way.
"He's getting divorced, he's losing millions of dollars, he has terrible taste in women, he's bald, he likes crap music, he is arrogant, he's a liar and now he sucks at golf," said Nike Golf president Cindy Davis. "There's pretty much not a single positive thing about Tiger Woods. So we wanted to capture his pathetic essence in an ad and latch onto the public's desire to be pretty much the opposite of Tiger Woods."
The new campaign signals a bit of a shift from past Nike Golf ad campaigns that sold Tiger Woods as the ideal.
"Yeah, things have kind of changed a bit with him over the past year," said Davis. "For example, a year ago I never could have imagined that I would beat Tiger Woods at the company golf tournament. But I did. By 12 strokes."
The ads will also save Nike significant money due to low production costs. The ads are just clips from news stories about Tiger Woods, interspersed with his worst shanks from the 2010 PGA season. The ads close with the "I Am Not Tiger Woods" tagline and a Nike swoosh symbol.
"We put our best creative minds on this campaign, but they quickly realized there was no way they could trump the reality of Tiger Woods," said Davis. "His all-encompassing failure at life is beyond imagination."
The new campaign dovetails nicely with Nike Golf's long-running "I Am Not Michelle Wie" campaign.