Remember: Don't drink and be a rules official.
Golfers are amazing athletes for people who aren't athletic.
He must be a big Tiger Woods fan.
"There's blood. Blood everywhere. So much blood," said a clearly in shock Ian Poulter, who has repeatedly said that Tiger's dominance is over. "I- I Phil is dead. He's so dead."
Woods shot a 42 on the front-9 in the 1st Round at the Players Championship and then withdrew from the tournament with lingering knee pain. As he collected his belongings in the locker room, the Golf Channel was on a nearby television, and witnesses say he heard the TV analysts saying other players weren't scared of him anymore.
"He then took off his right shoe and held it above his head," said a weeping Stewart Cink. "'You don't fear me anymore?' he said. 'You will now, motherfkers.' And then it was so sudden. I couldn't rescue Phil."
Mickelson was sitting in front of his locker directly across from Woods. When the first spiked blows reigned down upon him, he elicited girl-like shrieks. And then he went silent, dead, as Woods continued to bludgeon his lifeless body, yelling: "WHO'S SCARED OF ME NOW? WHO'S SCARED OF ME NOW?" with each blow.
The assault only ended when Woods tweaked his knee on the slippery blood that pooled around him.
The NY Post, for when TMZ won't look at your resume.
It's the mystery that sells tickets.
You suck at your job, Hank Haney.
Next thing you know we'll find out Davis Love doesn't drive a Buick.