November 24, 2012

Picture Idiot Florida State Fan Puts Face Paint On in the Mirror

FSU valedictorian.

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Filed Under   NCAAF   Florida State Seminoles
From Staff / September 22, 2012

Opinion Suggested "College GameDay" Signs of the Week: Clemson at Florida State

Suggested College GameDay Signs of the Week: Clemson at Florida State - Image 1
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December 30, 2011

Picture Hot Action in Florida State-Notre Dame Bowl Game

Pretty sure that gets you thrown out of a Catholic college.

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November 15, 2011

Picture That Ref Isn't Supposed to be Positioned That Way

He's just trying to get a shoe endorsement.

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From Staff / September 15, 2011

Opinion Suggested College GameDay Signs of the Week: Oklahoma vs. Florida State

ESPN's College GameDay is in Tallahassee, Fla., for Oklahoma vs. Florida State.

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January 05, 2011

Picture Florida State Student Newspaper Likes Entendres, Hates Cock-Blocking

The editor of this paper has a future at "The Economist."

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December 3, 2009

News Who is Jimbo Fisher?

Jimbo Fisher will take over as head coach of the Florida State football program following Bobby Bowden's final game in the Seminoles' bowl later this month. Who is this guy? Here are some facts about Jimbo Fisher.


Jimbo Fisher was born October 9, 1965 in Clarksburg, West Virginia. "Jimbo" was a family name handed down from generations of Fisher men who didn't want to be taken seriously outside of the South.


Fisher played quarterback at Salem College under Terry Bowden from 1985 to 1986, then followed Bowden to play at Samford University in 1987 when Bowden got the job there. Fisher primarily followed Terry Bowden because he hoped Bowden would lead him to the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.


In 1988 Fisher played for the Chicago Bruisers of the Arena Football League. Fisher may have been the best quarterback to ever play in the City of Chicago. At the very least he's tied for first/last.


Before becoming offensive coordinator and quarterbacks coach at Florida State in 2007, Fisher served in the same capacity at LSU from 2000 to 2006 and in 2001 was named a finalist for the Frank Broyles Award as the nation's top assistant. I'm not exactly sure who Frank Broyles is/was. Probably some no-name assistant who wanted other no-name assistants to get the recognition he never did.


During his seven seasons at LSU, Fisher coached quarterbacks Josh Booty, Rohan Davey, Craig Nall, Matt Mauck and JaMarcus Russell. Florida State officials are relieved that Fisher will never get any offers to coach in the NFL.


Fisher and his wife, Candi, have two sons. Jimbo and Candi are often offered roles in truck stop-based adult films.


Despite coaching stops at Samford, Auburn, Cincinnati, LSU and Florida State, Fisher has never been the head coach of a program. (Not counting the three seasons he has served as head coach of Bobby Bowden's program.)

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December 1, 2009

News Joe Paterno Dies

Moments after hearing that Bobby Bowden had officially retired as head coach of the Florida State Seminoles, Penn State head coach Joe Paterno let out a sigh, made a few last remarks, and happily slipped into sweet, sweet death.


"Oh, thank Christ in heaven," said Paterno, letting out a long breath. "Finally. Finally. I never thought he would retire. But now he has. And my career wins record is forever safe. Goodbye, world."


And, with that, the 82-year-old head coach slumped over dead.


"I'm so happy for Joe," said Penn State defensive coordinator, Tom Bradley, who was in Paterno's office when he quit living. "This is all he has wanted for so long. He had to keep coaching and living long after he intended to because Bowden was as stubborn as he was. But in the end, Joe was more stubborn. By a few minutes. What a fighter."


Bowden expressed remorse upon receiving the news of his rival's passing.


"I'm sorry he had to die," said Bowden. "But me faking my retirement so he would stop living was the only way I could make up the wins gap. What? I had to do it. I'm not as dumb as I've looked the past few years."


The Florida State icon then announced a new five-year contract extension.

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November 30, 2009

News Florida State's Lovable Mascot Bowden Considering Retirement


Bobby Bowden, the lovable mascot with the bemused expression and eclectic hats and glasses who has walked the Florida State sidelines for the past 34 years, may have worked his final game on Saturday.


“He has done so much for our university and for our football program,” said university president T.K. Wetherell. “Bobby Bowden has almost nothing to do with the football team itself or what happens on the field, but our fans love him more than any current or former player or coach. That the mark of a great mascot.”


The mascot has been forced to cut back on his colorful routine of yelling and folksiness in recent years to do its increased age — and it may be health concerns that end a career perhaps only rivaled by the likes of the Phillie Phanatic, the San Diego Chicken and the University of Georgia’s Uga.


Junior quarterback Christian Ponder says that while Bobby Bowden isn’t a true member of the team, he does have an impact on them.


“We love him,” said Ponder. “Coach Fisher will be running a practice or going over the gameplan or something, and all of a sudden Bobby Bowden will come marching through out of nowhere, yelling and carrying on about something. He’s hilarious. You can’t get too tight with him around. He always lightens the mood.”


Ponder also credited Bowden for recruiting him to Florida State when he was a highly-coveted high school player three years ago.


“Most schools sent their head coach or some intense, hard-nosed assistant to my house to talk to me,” said Ponder. “But Florida State sent their mascot. That’s what won me over. It showed me they keep football fun here.”


Despite the rumors, Bobby Bowden – who famously always stays in his character– told amused reporters today that he has no plans to retire.


“Retire? What are you talking about? I’m focusing on getting these kids ready for next season and nothing else,” he croaked, working the crowd masterfully. And then he delivered the punch line to uproarious laughter: “I’m not the retiring type and I'm not a figurehead or a mascot. I’m a head football coach!"


Wetherell says he hopes Bowden does step away.


“He deserves a break,” he said. “It must be exhausting to be a public figure like that, always in character playing the cranky and old, but lovable, grandfather-type. And I can’t imagine how hot it must be inside that ridiculous costume.”


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