News Figure Skater Performs to the Music of His Father Crying
American figure skater Evan Lysacek is in position for a gold medal after a stunning short program performance set to the sound of his father's sobbing.
"I wanted to really come out tonight and give it my best and represent everyone who has helped me get here," said Lysacek. "And I don't think I would have made it this far without my father's questionable parenting choices."
Wearing a black, clingy unitard with sections of mesh, ruffles and sequins, Lysacek performed to a recording of his father sobbing in heartbreak tears shed over his only son being a figure skater.
"I am so ashamed. So incredibly embarrassed for him and my whole family," said a sobbing Greg Lysacek, Evan's father, after the performance. "Yet at the same time, part of me is proud. He is doing well at this and he seems happy. But I don't know why. Does he have no pride?"
Lysacek pulled the audio of his father's tears from years of video tapes his mother shot of his performances from the stands, always with his father sobbing in the background. Set to a funky mix of house music, the crying music set Lysacek's performance apart from his competitors. The skater timed his two toughest jumps back-to-back triple jumps to a section of the song where his father wails: "Why God? Why?!"
"I hoped it would make dad proud of me," said Lysacek, who pointed up at his father in the stands after completing his performance.
Greg Lysacek hid his face behind his jacket.
"I didn't want my friends to see me on TV at a figure skating event," he said after the competition, giving a heartfelt nod to Johnny Weir's father as he passed. Weir performed to the song "I Love Penises".
Picture After falling during her free skate, Sasha Cohen tries to win back the judges by giving them an extended shot of her crotch.
News Male Figure Skater Accused of Asexual Assault
Top-ranked men's figure skater Blaine Bradley was accused by a former assistant today of asexual assault in a civil lawsuit filed in Las Vegas.
Sheila Watson, who worked for six months last year as Bradley’s accountant, claims the skater’s blatantly asexual attire, attitude and manner of speaking caused her great mental anguish, discomfort and confusion.
“My client would have filed criminal charges of asexual assault,” claimed Watson’s attorney, Jeffrey White. “But for some reason asexual assault is not a criminal offense in this state or anywhere in the country. So a civil case of asexual assault it is.”
Bradley did not respond to the charges, but authorized his attorney to release a statement:
“At no time did Blaine Bradley asexually assault this woman. These charges are ridiculous and without merit. Blaine dresses in an androgynous manner so he can appeal to everyone, not push people away – and definitely not to assault anyone. If Ms. Watson is uncomfortable with fabulousness, that’s her problem, not my client’s. In fact, Blaine found Ms. Watson’s drab, matronly garb disappointing and unsettling, but you don’t see us calling the fashion police.”
Despite the distraction, Bradley plans to compete later this month in the Skate Detroit competition.
“I have nothing to say about these accusations,” he said. “I will let my spins and my sequins do the talking for me.”
Picture The Most Terrifying Figure Skating Photos Ever
The last guy hit a triple and took your soul.
