January 23, 2012

News Eli Manning Caught Practicing Those Faces in a Mirror

New York Giants backup quarterback David Carr stumbled upon Eli Manning this morning in the team's locker room bathroom and was shocked by what he saw.

"Eli was standing there in front of the mirror, going through all of his faces — sad, depressed, confused, frustrated, crushed from the blindside, crushed in his face — all of them," said Carr, who went undetected by Manning. "I'm starting to think it's all an act."

Manning admitted as much when he was confronted later by head coach Tom Coughlin, who had been alerted of the incident by Carr.

"Yes, of course I make it on purpose," said Manning of ManningFace. "Do you really think someone could go through life making such ridiculous facial expressions and be completely unaware of it all? No way — unless they have some sort of mental disability, of course, which I do not. Let's just make that clear. I have an above-average IQ. The faces are an act, okay?"

Manning said he began making absurd faces during games in middle school to make the sport more fun.

"Football has been drilled into me since I was a little kid by my dad," said Eli. "Sometimes I didn't like it and wanted to do other things. But I finally decided: 'Fine, if I have to play, I'm going to look like an idiot doing it and there's nothing you can do about it.' Twenty years later, I feel like my faces have never been better. I've got more than a hundred, each one more pathetically hilarious than the next."

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Filed Under   NFL   Eli Manning   New York Giants
January 22, 2012

Opinion 15 Other Words You Can't Spell Without "ELI"

It was determined that Eli Manning is an elite quarterback earlier this season when someone discovered that you can't spell ELITE without ELI. This is perfect logic. It also begs the question: What other words have ELI in them and what do they tell us about Eli Manning?

elimination

ELImination = NFL teams do not want to face Eli Manning in the playoffs.

feline

fELIne = Eli Manning is a pussy.

"Deliverance"

dELIverance = Eli Manning is inbred and was raised by a family of hicks.

celibate

cELIbate = Eli Manning has never had sex.

belittle

bELIttle = Eli Manning's older brothers make fun of him.

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Filed Under   NFL   Eli Manning   New York Giants

Poll Is Eli Manning an elite quarterback?

2214 votes / / 0 comments / View Poll »
Filed Under   NFL   Eli Manning   New York Giants
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Filed Under   Eli Manning   Aaron Rodgers
January 13, 2012

Picture Eli Manning in the Least Eli Manning Photo Ever

He never saw "Rambo" because his mom doesn't let him see anything beyond PG-13 movies.

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Filed Under   NFL   Eli Manning   New York Giants
January 08, 2012

Picture Eli Manning (Safety) Face

His safety word is "Derp."

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Filed Under   NFL   Eli Manning   New York Giants
November 21, 2011

Picture Eli Manning Poses for the Portrait of "Manning Face"

It will hang in the National Derp Gallery.

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Filed Under   NFL   Eli Manning   New York Giants

Poll Can Eli Manning win a Super Bowl?

2894 votes / / 0 comments / View Poll »
Filed Under   NFL   Eli Manning   New York Giants
September 20, 2011

Video Eli Manning Comments on Brandon Stokley's Large Package

One day he'll learn about the birds and the bees and realize he said an odd thing.

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June 23, 2011

Video "Football Cops" Starring Peyton and Eli Manning

I fear Eli Manning thinks this is real.

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