"Over the years we've always taken into consideration what the fans like to see in our 'One Shining Moment' video, and year after year they tell us they want to see more of Duke losing," said CBS Sports Chairman Sean McManus. "So with that in mind, we feel like we've already got the best possible video."
Duke, just two years removed from winning the national championship, was a heavy favorite against 15 seed Lehigh, but lost, 75-70, in the Round of 64. CBS production assistants immediately rushed the "One Shining Moment" montage into production, focusing on reaction shots of Duke players and coaches during the final seconds of the game.
"I think the best part of the video is when all the Duke fans realize they're losing in the first round," said Steve Walker, a PA who helped put together the montage. "Oh, wait 'second round'. Whatever the hell they're calling it these days. Whatever. Duke didn't win a game, and it's awesome."
Picture Sad UNC Fans
Apparently they're not impressed by Austin Rivers.
Well, this and they also probably still believe that tobacco is good for you.
He's too bored to stomp any chests these days.
Duke may be guilty of an NCAA rules violation after head coach Mike Krzyzewski took a call from a recruit, Alex Poythress, while Poythress was traveling to play in tournaments. Here is a transcript of that call.
Hello! This is Coach K's phone.
Hi. Coach Krzyzewski? This is Alex Poythress.
Uhhh sure. This is Coach Krzyzewski. How are you, Alex?
Good. I'm good. I have some down time between tournaments and thought I'd call and say hi.
I'm glad you did, Alex. I'm just here being myself, being Coach Mike Krzyzewski. I am a legend. Everyone respects me.
Huh. Yeah, coach.
Could you say that for me, Alex? Could you say: "You are Mike Krzyzewski. You are a legend. Everyone respects you."
Sure. I guess so. Do you have a cold or something, coach? Your voice sounds different.
What? No. I'm me Mike Krzyzewski and not anyone else. Now say that thing I asked you to say to-
[There is a scuffle in the background. Someone yells: "Steve! Get off the phone!" And: "Who are you talking to?"]
Sorry about that, Alex. That was my assistant, Steve Wojciechowski. He likes to pretend he's me a lot. Well, more than a lot. All the time. He doesn't have much else going for him.
Oh. That's alright. I called your phone and I thought something seemed a little strange from the beginning.
"I'd like to thank all of the teams who participated in this year's effort to have Duke's season end hilariously in defeat on national television, or as it's better known: the NCAA Tournament," said NCAA president Mark Emmert. "I think this will go down as one of the greatest tournaments of all-time. I mean, they got killed. It was great!"
Emmert also extended a special mention to the Arizona Wildcats for "putting a stake through the heart of the great satan."
Arizona head coach Sean Miller said his team felt like champions.
"This is what any basketball player dreams about growing up: destroying Duke in the NCAA Tournament, repeatedly dunking on their heads and just humiliating them in front of the whole nation," said Miller. "My guys are on top of the world. Because Duke is on the bottom."
Picture Wild/Lolcats Enjoy the Duke Loss
"You have to be able to adapt in the game of basketball," said Krzyzewski. "And things have changed. Winning isn't what it's all about anymore. Today it's more about getting a lot of views and likes on YouTube. I'm not going to stand in the way of these kids' dreams. I mean, Nolan Smith can make a shot from half court through his legs. The world needs to see it."
Krzyzewski said his team's struggles down the stretch losing two of its last three is due to a change in practice habits.
"For the past month we've been spending most of our practice time working on our trick shots," said the coach. "I think it's impressive we've won any games at all. But not as impressive as Kyrie Irving's underhanded bank shot from the scorer's table."
That admission explains why several of Duke's late-game possessions in a loss to North Carolina on Saturday included half-court shots by blind-folded players.
Jokes on you, girl: Mike Krzyzewski has no soul.