Let’s Have a Loud Conversation At The Stadium Urinal Trough!

By Jim Spetzko, Local Baseball Fan Hey, Mike!Mikey!I gotta piss!You gotta piss?Let’s piss together!At the stadium urinal trough!And let’s talk while we do it!Let’s ... Continue Reading →

Terrible Player Great At All The Little Things

Frankie Walker, a horrible backup shortstop for the Class A Visalia Oaks, was praised today by his manager and teammates for being good at all the little, inconsequential things that, ... Continue Reading →

AAAAAHHHHRGGGHHIIIYYYYYOOOWWWWW!!!! by Gus Johnson

Second down and 10 at the 13.Orton in the gun, Buckhalter right next to him.Orton pumps again.To the sideline… Batted uppp… AAAAAHHHHRGGGHHIIIYYYYYOOOWWWWW!!!!AHHHHHH!!!! ... Continue Reading →

Yankees Fan Stunned Your Son Has Never Heard the Word C–t Before

Salvatore DiGuilio, a Yankees season ticket holder who sits two rows behind you, expressed shock and dismay today that your son has never heard the word c—t before. “Really?Seriously?” ... Continue Reading →

Tila Tequila Accuses Shawne Merriman of Murdering Her

Amid previous allegations of battery and false imprisonment, reality TV star Tila Tequila today filed additional charges against her boyfriend, Chargers All-Pro linebacker Shawne Merriman, ... Continue Reading →

Champion Deep-Sea Diver Ignores Crew Requests to Bring Back Lobster

Portuguese deep-sea diver Poreto smashed the world record for unaided deep-sea diving today, diving over 600 feet down into the Pacific Ocean, despite numerous pleas from his boat crew ... Continue Reading →

Today’s Debate: Michigan Football Controversy

Every other sports media outlet has a format in which talking-head morons yell foolish, reactionary blather at each other, resulting in absolutely no cogent point other than that they ... Continue Reading →