Video Ndamukong Suh Can't Kick
Stupid Lions. This is why you don't draft a kicker in the first round.
Video Leave it to the Lions to Celebrate TDs Like Carlton Banks
Detroit fans have been waiting years for them to become Will Smith.
Picture This is how some players get calls.
The Lions have to try anything to win.
News Matthew Stafford and His Shoulder Announce Trial Separation
Detroit Lions quarterback Matthew Stafford, the No. 1 overall pick in the 2009 NFL Draft, has announced he is separating with his shoulder of 22 years, the right one.
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"It's a very painful time right now," said Stafford. "But we're wanting different things. I want to stay together, but it clearly doesn't want to."
News Matthew Stafford Leads Lions with Clutch 32 Fantasy Point Performance
The Detroit Lions put up big numbers on the Cleveland Browns on Sunday behind a dramatic 32 fantasy point performance from rookie quarterback Matthew Stafford, including a clutch six-point touchdown pass on the game's final play.
Stafford's final touchdown pass, his fifth of the day which took his fantasy points from 26 to 32, came one play after he injured his non-throwing shoulder.
"I really shouldn't have been in there," he said. "I could have suffered long-term damage. But what good does it do anyone to have a backup come in and pick up six fantasy points at the end of the game? No, I needed to finish the job."
The 32 fantasy points more than doubled Stafford's previous career high, a 15-point game against the Redskins in Week 3. And it totaled nearly half of the 74 fantasy points he had earned so far this season through nine weeks.
"Right now I am only owned by 6.8-percent of all users in ESPN fantasy leagues and less than that in Yahoo! leagues," he said. "But I think this game will get me closer to 10-percent. Especially in keeper leagues."
Stafford wasn't the only quarterback to boost his fantasy stock in the game Cleveland Browns quarterback Brady Quinn also posted a career-high 28 fantasy points on four touchdown passes and two interceptions. He only had 10 fantasy points all season entering the game.
"Matthew may have come out on top in most leagues, 32-28," said Quinn, owned in less than 3-percent of leagues. "But he had two interceptions and I had none. In fantasy leagues that punish turnovers more, I won. And that makes me feel really good. I just hope I proved to this team today that I have what it takes to be a viable long-term fantasy quarterback."
Browns coach Eric Mangini was also happy with the game.
"It was a good points day for most everyone on our offense except our team defense," he said. "We're making progress."
Picture Adrian Peterson displays the foot he snapped off of a Detroit Lions defender while making a move in the second half.
News Barry Sanders Makes Long-Awaited Return to the Detroit Lions
The Detroit Lions welcomed back a familiar face to the locker room today as star running back Barry Sanders reported to practice after a 10-year hiatus.
“I feel like the time is right,” said Sanders. “It’s been 10 years. Maybe I left too early before. But I feel rested and rejuvenated. A whole decade’s worth or rest and rejuvenation. I am ready to play again.”
But while the Lions waited for years for Sanders to return and rescue the moribund franchise, some in the organization worry the all-time great, now 41, may have lost a step since last playing in 1998.
“He left at the top of his game,” said Lions head coach Jim Schwartz. “There was a whole lot left in the tank. But maybe the gas has gone bad. Or maybe the bottom of the tank has rusted out. Or perhaps other parts of the car have gone bad. Like perhaps the tires. Or the brakes. Or the engine. Okay, I’ll stop with the analogy. What I’m saying is that Barry Sanders is very, very old.”
Despite Schwartz's concerns about Sanders, general manager Martin Mayhew says Sanders is welcome back with open arms.
“Have you seen our team? I can’t name more than five guys on our roster – and I helped sign or draft almost all of them,” he said. “Hell yes Barry Sanders is back on our team. In fact, he will start this week. We don’t really have any other options. Kevin somebody is playing now. He went to some crap college I never heard of. Barry is definitely our guy. I think he can be as good as before. If he's feeling fresh he might get some time at safety, too.”
Sanders says he just wants to get back out on the field and play football again.
“I’m going to strap on my L.A. Gears, get some C+C Music Factory pumping in my Sony CD Walkman and go to work,” he said. “I just hope we play the Oilers this year. I always did well against them.”
News 1987 1st Round Pick Ends Holdout
Detroit Lions draft pick Roger Jordan reported for training camp today after a 22-year and 3-month holdout. The Lions first round pick in the 1987 draft said he felt it was time to get on the field.
“Woooh, boy! I’m sore,” said Jordan after his first practice. “I’ll admit – I tried to workout while I was waiting for my contract to be resolved, but I think I’m a little bit out of shape. This 22-year holdout was longer than it felt.”
Jordan felt he had to report to camp after contract negotiations had broken down.
“I had received an offer from them in, oh … I don’t know – I remember ‘The Cosby Show’ was still on at the time,” he said. “So it’s been a couple years, I guess. I also hadn’t heard from my agent in a while about where things stood. Turns out he passed away in 1995.”
Lions general manager Martin Mayhew said he was unaware the team had a holdout from the 1987 draft class, but welcomed Jordan’s arrival.
“We can use all the help we can get,” said Mayhew. “This guy has been out of football for a couple of decades. His hunger must be stronger than ever. Sure, he’s 44 now and a bit flabby and arthritic, but I think he can start for us at several positions right now.”
Jordan said he will gladly accept the team’s most recent offer: 3 years, $240,000. “That’s a lot of money and I can use it,” he said. “I thought I was going to be signed long ago and I’ve been borrowing for years, promising everyone I was good for it because I’d have a big NFL contract soon. And now that day has arrived. Woooo! I’m rich $80,000 a year!”
News Inside the NFL QB battles
NFL training camps open with six starting quarterback jobs up for grabs.
Here is a look at each position battle and what each player brings to the table.
>> Cleveland Browns
Derek Anderson
PRO: Has been successful as a starter before, going 10-5 in 2007 with 3,787 yards and 29 touchdowns.
CON: His numbers dropped precipitously last year. Although to be fair, his numbers were actually dropped by Braylon Edwards.
Brady Quinn
PRO: Proved he was a great leader at Notre Dame. Plus, his popped collar only adds to that. It makes him appear regal. Almost like royalty.
CON: Opposing defenses have a tendency to read his eyes. Mainly because they can't take their gaze off of them.
>> Detroit Lions
Daunte Culpepper
PRO: Has put up big numbers and won games in the past before his knee injuries.
CON: Lost of mobility means- did he just get sacked in a drill without a defense? My God.
Matthew Stafford
PRO: Most scouts rate him a can't-miss.
CON: Most scouts rated Joey Harrington a can't-miss.
>> Minnesota Vikings
Tarvaris Jackson
PRO: Is not Brett Favre.
CON: Is not Brett Favre.
Sage Rosenfels
PRO: Is not Brett Favre.
CON: Is not Brett Favre.
>> New York Jets
Kellen Clemens
PRO: Despite his last name and the fact that his first name starts with a K, he's not related to that dickwad Roger Clemens.
CON: Perhaps not coincidentally, he also can't throw anywhere near as well as Roger Clemens. (But as an addendum to his PRO: he's also not on steroids. So that's nice.)
Mark Sanchez
PRO: Has experience running a pro-style offense and playing under the pressures of a pro-style contract.
CON: He has never played a game in the snow. (And he may never. Please recycle!)
>> San Francisco 49ers
Shaun Hill
PRO: Is a solid game manager.
CON: He manages to lose. A lot.
Alex Smith
PRO: Tied a career high in touchdowns last season and has been a consistent contributor since coming into the league.
CON: Unfortunately, that's Alex Smith the tight end. Alex Smith the quarterback is a pile of crap.
>> Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Josh Freeman
PRO: He rewrote the record books at Kansas State.
CON: I'm just quoting that from something I read elsewhere. I seriously doubt Kansas State has record books.
Byron Leftwich
PRO: Gets his whole team involved. Usually by having them carry him up and down the field when he gets hurt.
CON: Questionable decision making. (He turned down a contract from the reigning Super Bowl champions to play for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers!)
Luke McCown
PRO: Is not Cade McCown or Josh McCown.
CON: Is Luke McCown.

