Picture The No-Longer-Employe Titus Young Graces the Cover of Detroit Lions 2013 Calendar
Another proud moment in Detroit Lions history.
News Ndamukong Suh Practicing New Finishing Move for This Year's Thanksgiving Game
"That incident still bothers me," said Suh. "A year later I still have nightmares about Dietrich-Smith getting up and walking away, still able to play, still able to walk, still able to live. I failed on national TV in front of the entire nation. I vowed to never let that happen again."
The 6-foot-4, 310-pound Suh says he has worked tirelessly since last Thanksgiving to come up with a new finishing move.
"I don't want to give too much away, but it includes snapping a guy's femur and then using the sharp bone that's broken off to stab him through the heart," said Suh. "Well, I guess I gave it away. But you'll still want to tune in. There's a lot more blood than you probably even expect."
Suh has been fine-tuning the move in recent weeks, running through nearly a dozen Lion backups and practice squad players.
"Some lived, some died," said Suh. "But I've killed the last three in a row, so I think I'm ready."
Picture New NFL Player Pants Great at Revealing Player Butts
Big deal. Everyone always imagines linemen naked anyway.
News Subway to Release New Ndamukong Suh-Inspired Human Meat Sandwich
The basic sandwich will include provolone cheese, lettuce and tomato, topped with a generous portion of human flesh. Next on the sandwich is a secret sauce, which appears to be blood and ground-up human entrails with a pinch of oregano.
"It's not a typical club sandwich, as there's no bacon, mayonnaise or toast," said Subway spokesman Jeff Tillway. "But it is a club sandwich in that Ndamukong beat to death all of the people whose meat we're using with a club. I've never seen an athlete get more involved or enjoy working with us more than Ndamukong did. Once the blood started flying, he just kept laughing harder and harder."
Picture Tebowing Over Tebow
Even if the Lions win the Super Bowl, this is the highlight of their season.




