May 08, 2013

Picture The No-Longer-Employe Titus Young Graces the Cover of Detroit Lions 2013 Calendar

Another proud moment in Detroit Lions history.

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Filed Under   NFL   Detroit Lions   Titus Young
November 21, 2012

News Ndamukong Suh Practicing New Finishing Move for This Year's Thanksgiving Game

Ndamukong Suh Practicing New Finishing Move for This Years Thanksgiving Game - Image 1
Detroit Lions defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh says he has prepared a finishing move he trusts will be effectively lethal, unlike the botched foot stomp move he used in the 2011 Thanksgiving game on Green Bay's Evan Dietrich-Smith.

"That incident still bothers me," said Suh. "A year later I still have nightmares about Dietrich-Smith getting up and walking away, still able to play, still able to walk, still able to live. I failed on national TV in front of the entire nation. I vowed to never let that happen again."

The 6-foot-4, 310-pound Suh says he has worked tirelessly since last Thanksgiving to come up with a new finishing move.

"I don't want to give too much away, but it includes snapping a guy's femur and then using the sharp bone that's broken off to stab him through the heart," said Suh. "Well, I guess I gave it away. But you'll still want to tune in. There's a lot more blood than you probably even expect."

Suh has been fine-tuning the move in recent weeks, running through nearly a dozen Lion backups and practice squad players.

"Some lived, some died," said Suh. "But I've killed the last three in a row, so I think I'm ready."

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Filed Under   NFL   Detroit Lions   Ndamukong Suh   Detr
October 23, 2012

Picture Matthew Stafford Face

He can't see how bad he looks. So that's a positive.

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Filed Under   NFL   Detroit Lions   Matthew Stafford
September 10, 2012

Picture New NFL Player Pants Great at Revealing Player Butts

Big deal. Everyone always imagines linemen naked anyway.

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Filed Under   NFL   Detroit Lions
January 6, 2012

Opinion The OFFICIAL NFL Wildcard Weekend Drinking Game

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December 6, 2011

News Subway to Release New Ndamukong Suh-Inspired Human Meat Sandwich

Subway announced today that the sandwich chain is set to release a new sub made with human flesh, named the "Soylent Club", which will be marketed exclusively with Subway spokesman and ultra-violent Detroit Lions star Ndamukong Suh.

The basic sandwich will include provolone cheese, lettuce and tomato, topped with a generous portion of human flesh. Next on the sandwich is a secret sauce, which appears to be blood and ground-up human entrails with a pinch of oregano.

"It's not a typical club sandwich, as there's no bacon, mayonnaise or toast," said Subway spokesman Jeff Tillway. "But it is a club sandwich in that Ndamukong beat to death all of the people whose meat we're using with a club. I've never seen an athlete get more involved or enjoy working with us more than Ndamukong did. Once the blood started flying, he just kept laughing harder and harder."

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Filed Under   NFL   Detroit Lions   Ndamukong Suh
November 28, 2011

Opinion Visual Evidence That Ndamukong Suh Might be a Dirty Player

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Filed Under   NFL   Detroit Lions   Ndamukong Suh
October 30, 2011

Picture Tebowing Over Tebow

Even if the Lions win the Super Bowl, this is the highlight of their season.

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Filed Under   NFL   Tim Tebow   Detroit Lions   Denver Broncos

Poll Which NFL team is most likely to go 0-16?

2538 votes / / 0 comments / View Poll »
October 19, 2011

Picture Jim Schwartz Tells His Side of the Story

His hair has never looked better.

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Filed Under   NFL   Detroit Lions   Jim Schwartz