Filed Under » Detroit Lions

Subway announced today that the sandwich chain is set to release a new sub made with human flesh, named the “Soylent Club”, which will be marketed exclusively with Subway spokesman and ultra-violent Detroit Lions star Ndamukong Suh.

The basic sandwich will include provolone cheese, lettuce and tomato, topped with a generous portion of human flesh. Next on the sandwich is a secret sauce, which appears to be blood and ground-up human entrails with a pinch of oregano.

“It’s not a typical club sandwich, as there’s no bacon, mayonnaise or toast,” said Subway spokesman Jeff Tillway. “But it is a club sandwich in that Ndamukong beat to death all of the people whose meat we’re using with a club. I’ve never seen an athlete get more involved or enjoy working with us more than Ndamukong did. Once the blood started flying, he just kept laughing harder and harder.”