jeteros

Orioles Turn Down Derek Jeter’s Request for the AL East Title as a Retirement Gift

The Baltimore Orioles clinched their first American League East crown since 1997 on Tuesday night, an accomplishment many are calling an egregious slap in the face to retiring Yankees ... Continue Reading →
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Jesus Planning to Return for Derek Jeter’s Final Homestand

Jesus Christ, the son of God, member of the Holy Trinity, and Savior of the world, will reportedly make his triumphant return to Earth in order to see Derek Jeter’s final homestand ... Continue Reading →
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PICTURE: Yankees Fan Portrays Derek Jeter as the Mona Lisa

It’s accurate because a painting hanging on a wall has as much range as Derek Jeter. (First-ballot Hall of Famer ZING!) Continue Reading →
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All-Star Retirement Card for Derek Jeter

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PICTURE: Yeah Jeets Banner at Yankees Game

No doubt just one of his conquests showing appreciation for his career. Continue Reading →
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PICTURE: Scouting Report on Derek Jeter Slightly Complimentary

Too bad they ran out of space before they mentioned how he healed lepers.  Continue Reading →
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Athlete Apps: LeBron, RGIII, Johnny Football and Derek Jeter

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VIDEO: Yankees Fans Struggling to Cope with Derek Jeter’s Retirement

5,000 hits is just 11 or so a game from here on out. We believe in you, Derek! Continue Reading →
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VIDEO: Derek Jeter Repeatedly Denies Grabby Girl to Give Baseball to Little Kid

Doing things like this could cause Derek Jeter to become loved. Continue Reading →
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Astros Present Derek Jeter with Retirement Gift of Miss Texas

Derek Jeter’s farewell tour kicked off in full force in Houston last night as the Astros presented the retiring shortstop with cowboys boots, a Stetson hat, golf clubs and Miss ... Continue Reading →
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VIDEO: Cleveland TV Sports Talk Guy Fed Up with Idiotic Fan Re: Derek Jeter to the Indians

You’re in the wrong business, guy. There’s an unlimited supply of idiotic sports fans. Continue Reading →
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Derek Jeter’s 12 Most Disgusting Girlfriends

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New York Yankees Retirement Card for Derek Jeter

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Derek Jeter’s Retirement Tour to Give Baseball a Chance to Praise the Yankee Captain

Derek Jeter announced Wednesday that the 2014 season will be his last. The early notice gives the Yankees and MLB time to coordinate a retirement tour for the longtime shortstop that ... Continue Reading →
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Yankees Announce That Derek Jeter Will Now Depressingly Age Before Our Eyes at the Major League Level

New York Yankees general manager Brian Cashman announced today that shortstop Derek Jeter will be called up from his rehab assignment tonight to continue his horribly depressing aging ... Continue Reading →
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Someone Writing a Column That Gives Credit for Yankees’ Surprising Start to Derek Jeter

Someone somewhere is currently working on a column that will credit the New York Yankees' surprising start to the season to the leadership of Derek Jeter. The veteran shortstop ... Continue Reading →
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A Day-in-the-Life of Fat Derek Jeter

11:00 a.m. – Wakes up and for breakfast eats an entire container of fattening whipped cream off of the body of the model laying beside him. 11:10 a.m. – Is so lazy he ... Continue Reading →
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Derek Jeter Fractures America’s Heart

He’ll be back in three months. We may never recover. Continue Reading →