Opinion Every Christmas Story is About Tim Tebow
"Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer"
Everyone used to laugh and call Tim Tebow names. But one day his coach was forced to start him. Thanks to the bright light that exudes from him for all to see, Tebow got the job done and everyone loved him and shouted out with glee. Tebow went down in history.
"A Christmas Carol"
A mean, old boss (Scrooge Elway) mistreats his best employee (Tebow Cratchit) even though Tebow is a hard worker who is dedicated to the company and makes it a success.
One night, Scrooge Elway is visited by three ghosts: the Ghost of Christmas Past, who shows him horrifying footage of Kyle Orton; the Ghost of Christmas Present, who takes him to see another miraculous late-game Tebow comeback; and, finally, the Ghost of Christmas Future, who shows Scrooge Elway a post-Super Bowl championship victory speech by Tebow, in which Tebow asks everyone to remember Elway, recently dead due to lightning strike.
Scrooge Elway comes to realize the error of his ways and accepts and loves Tebow. In doing so, Elway receives salvation.
Picture Tecmo Tebow
There were only two passing plays in Tecmo Bowl. Tebow would have loved it.
News Upcoming Opponents Pretty Excited to See How They'll Lose to Tim Tebow
"Look, we're more talented than the Broncos at most positions, especially on the offensive side of the ball," said Patriots head coach Bill Belichick. "On paper, we should defeat them pretty easily. Yet at the same time, we know that no matter what we do, Tebow will still beat us somehow at the end of the game. I can't wait to see how. It's going to be very entertaining. And I have a front row seat."
Patriots quarterback Tom Brady says the team has been working in hard in hopes of taking a huge early lead on Denver.
"We're entering this game with the mindset of how we played every opponent in 2007 when we were going for 19-0," said Brady. "We want to blow them out and never take our foot of the gas. If we can be up 40 going into the fourth quarter, I'm confident Tim Tebow will deliver a comeback that will be talked about for centuries. It will be an honor to have been the quarterback he defeated in the biggest comeback in football history. I'm pumped. I've never been so excited for a game in my life."
Picture A New Leader for Worst Tebow Tattoo
It's ironic that Tebow may be the one who causes people to worship someone before God.
Picture An Unstoppable Fantasy Lineup
His league awards 100 points for each intangible.
News NFL's New Tebow of the Year Award to Honor the Most Tebow Player
"There has been some talk lately about Tim being a contender for league MVP," said Goodell before the gathered media. "And that might just happen. But Most Valuable Player doesn't really capture all that Tim Tebow is. He's kind of like the MVP, combined with the NFL Man of the Year, combined with … I don't know … America. So I felt it was best to create a separate award in his honor that would go to the the player who exhibits the most Tebow-like characteristics. So we have – it's the Tebow of the Year Award."
The commissioner was asked how a "Tebow-like" player would be determined.
"Well, first, I think we can all agree that there is no equal to Tim Tebow in football or in any other sport or walk of life," said the commissioner. "That's why I saw no reason to wait until he retires to name an award after him. If it was inevitable, why the wait? But back to your question, there's really no way to measure what a Tebow-like quality is or is not. But to quote Justice Stewart on the issue of pornography — no offense, Tim — 'I know it when I see it.' It's like that on the football field. Sometimes you see something happen, like a team winning a game or something, and you think: 'That was so Tebow right there.'"
Picture Willis McGahee is Two People
That explains his reemergence as a running back.
Video Kyle Orton's Farewell to Denver
Carmelo didn't even have the courtesy to do this.
