- "Compete Pray Love"
- "The Jump-Passer's Guide to the Galaxy"
- "The Plaque-Driven Life"
- "Bible 2: New International Virgin"
- "Are You There, God? It's Me, Backup"
- "Who Moved My Cheesus?"
- "How To Win Friends And Circumcise People"
Jay Cutler doesn't think this guy is very mature.
Picture Ladies: It's Tim Tebow's O-Face
This is from his new Nike commercial. OR IS IT?
In a recent trip to Kohl's with his mother, Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow bought a new pair of swim trunks to wear in the locker room shower during his first NFL season.
The trunks, green with white stripes on the side, had been marked down to $16.99 from the original price of $28.70.
They were a real good deal, said Tebow after Tuesday's practice. There's a zipper pocket, too, so I won't lose track of my knickknacks.
Training camp is less than two weeks old and Tim Tebow's Broncos teammates have already grown tired of his miracles.
"Look, it's cool he can make all that food," said wide receiver Jabar Gaffney. "But how about some diversity? I'd rather starve than eat another goddam fish, I'll tell you that. And the carbs from the loaves are not helping any of us get in shape."
The Broncos selected Tebow in the first round as much for his leadership and intangibles as for his football ability, and those intangibles included feeding and ministering to his teammates. It was hoped he would save the team money on dining costs at training camp, as well as for post-game spreads. And he has, but Broncos players don't care about cost savings.
"I asked Tim for a pizza. Deep dish. The works," said running back LenDale White. "He got me a fish on a loaf and tried to tell me it was a French bread sardine pizza. That's not what I asked for and Tim Tebow isn't supposed to lie."
Head coach Josh McDaniels is working with Tebow to improve his food-making.
"The problem is that Tim is a biblical literalist," said McDaniels. "So in the Bible it says Jesus made loaves and fishes. Fine. But what I want to stress to Tim is that if he wanted, being that he's supposed to be all-powerful, Jesus could have also made a nice stir-fry. Or, you know, even steak with a loaf. I'm sure the guys could go for a London broil sandwich."
But not all the Broncos are tired of Tebow's loaves and fishes. Starting quarterback Kyle Orton says he is happy with his new teammate.
"Hey, I'm very happy with sticking to exactly what's in the Bible," said Orton. "Because I know that means soon he'll start changing water into wine. Score!"
Tim Tebow is portrayed as mature beyond his years. And in many ways he is. But even the great Tebow can still fall prey to the temptations on a 22-year-old with money.
According to reports, Tebow has already blown through his $2.5 million signing bonus on various worldwide charity organizations focusing on famine, education and home-building.
"Hey, it's his money now and he can do with it what he'd like," said Broncos head coach Josh McDaniels. "But, sure, you'd like to see a bit more responsiblity and discretion from someone you hope will become a leader of the team. I've seen a lot of young players go broke being stupid. I hope he doesn't do the same."
Tebow admits it may have been a little foolish to blow through $2.5 million in 24 hours.
"The money was burning a hole through my pocket," he said. "I just wanted to help people. There are so many people in need who can't afford a delay in aid. But, sure, if I had more time, I might have researched some of the charity organizations a little more to make sure all of the money will be used in the best possible way."
Not all of Tebow's bonus went to charity, however. The quarterback also used some of the money for personal use a down payment on a luxurious downtown Denver loft apartment. He plans to live there until he completes the renovations needed to make it into a soup kitchen, one he hopes will be the nices soup kitchen in the United States if not the world.
"I have been blessed with this money and I want to help others," he said. "I don't need this bonus. I can easily live off of my regular salary. That's what I'll use to pay my mortgage, get a car, and finance my addiction to hookers."
A GameStop in Tuscaloosa, Alabama, switched out the cover of the new EA Sports' NCAA Football 11 with one featuring Tim Tebow crying.
Turns out they changed the back cover, too.