SportsPickle - Filed Under "Dan Klein" http://www.sportspickle.com/tag/dan-klein Filed Under "Dan Klein" /article/914 Frustrated Royals Fire Pitching Mound Wed, 19 May 2010 07:06:00 -0400 Desperately looking for answers in yet another season that has seen them fall far out of contention, the Kansas City Royals announced today that they have decided to fire the team's pitching mound.

With the firing, the pitcher's mound is the first to one to be fired in the 2010 Major League Baseball Season. It is also the first pitcher's mound to ever be fired in the history of baseball.
...]]> /article/855 Pedro Cerrano Retires After Spending 19 Years in the Minors Tue, 27 Apr 2010 08:07:56 -0400 Veteran right fielder PedroCerranoannounced his retirement after 19 seasons with the South Carolina Buzz, the Triple-A affiliate of the Minnesota Twins, at a news conference this morning.

Cerrano, a 1989 Rookie of the Year candidate who struggled in several attempts at a comeback, announced his decision in front of members of the press, several former teammates including Rick "Wild Thing" Vaughn, Willy Mays Hayes, and Jake Taylor, Indians owner Roger Dorn, and three die-hard Indians fans.
...]]> /article/843 Roger Goodell Warns Players Against Participating In "Fucked Up Bullshit" Thu, 22 Apr 2010 10:26:59 -0400 NFL Commissioner RogerGoodellheld a press conference Wednesday to reiterate his strict stance on violations of the NFL conduct policy, adding emphasis on making sure players do not "get caught up in dumbass fucked up bullshit."

After recent incidents involving NFL players Ben Roethlisberger, Santonio Holmes, and Antonio Cromartie,Goodellsaid he felt it was important to remind the league about possible suspensions and even expulsions for involvement in behavior that could be construed as "ridiculously stupid," "fucking mindless," and "just straight up dumb."
...]]> /article/820 Excited Demolition Crew Goes Ahead and Explodes Cowboys Stadium, Too Wed, 14 Apr 2010 11:16:15 -0400 After demolishing Texas Stadium in front of crowd of thousands of cheering spectators, the demolition crew was so inspired by the passion and enthusiasm of the fans that they hastily rigged up explosives to the nearby $1.15 billion dollarCowboysStadium and imploded that as well.

"As far as implosions go, this was a huge success," said a giddy demolition crew chief Gerald Hearst, who struggled to hold back his happiness. "Usually we just blow up one thing and leave. But the crowd really wanted it this time. It felt like I was in a band and the crowd was demanding an encore."
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Elshas not played in a tournament round since an unexplained incident last week. Though members of the media were permitted on the property, none had enough free time to show up to the press conference called byElswhere he promised to announce his decision to play through his physical handicap and to explain the origin of his ravaged condition.
...]]> /article/790 CC Sabathia Accused of Putting Potato Chip Grease on the Ball Mon, 05 Apr 2010 11:35:31 -0400 Several Boston Red Sox players believe that Yankees ace CCSabathiawas doctoring the ball with potato chip grease during Sunday's opener at Fenway Park.

"It was so obvious he was doing it." said Boston second baseman Dustin Pedroia. "The ball was all shiny and it was darting all around in the early innings. Every time I took a ball it smelled like salt and vinegar flying by."
...]]> /article/762 Ruined Bracketologist Jumps Out of 10th Floor Window Wed, 24 Mar 2010 12:07:11 -0400 Upsets dominated the first two rounds of the NCAA Tournament. But the true result was much more grave than some dashed title hopes, as it is now being reported that Adam Randolph, a college basketball researcher and bracketologist for CBS Sports, sadly took his own life Sunday by jumping from a 10th story window of the CBS Building in Manhattan.


...]]> /article/720 Nervous Rookie Pitcher Can't Remember if He Throws Righty or Lefty Wed, 10 Mar 2010 12:13:35 -0500 Just a day before his scheduled spring training debut, sweat-covered Pirates rookie pitcher Brad Lincoln has announced that he forgets if he uses his right hand or left hand to pitch.

"Dammit, which one is it?" Lincoln said to the press, amidst moments of deep thinking and pretending to throw with both arms.

Lincoln began experiencing problems during a fielding drill where he could not find his glove, which, according to Lincoln, would have been a good indicator of which hand he uses to throw. The problem was only exacerbated by the lack of film room or Internet access in the Pirates' Bradenton training facility.
...]]> /article/715 Yao Ming's Wife Gives Birth To Beautiful 7-Foot Baby Girl Tue, 09 Mar 2010 05:09:20 -0500 Basketball player Ye Li, the 6'2" wife of 7'6" Rockets centerYaoMing, has given birth to a healthy seven-foot baby girl.

The child was delivered by a team of 95 doctors, nurses, and assistants, as well as a Ford F-150 pickup truck early this morning at the The Woman’s Hospital of Texas in Houston. Li became only the second woman to give birth to baby over 12 pounds, with her child weighing in at 196 pounds, three ounces.
...]]> /article/712 Chris Chelios Embarrasses Rest of Thrashers by Passing Puck Like a Dad Mon, 08 Mar 2010 09:56:43 -0500 During their first practice today with newly-signed teammate Chris Chelios, Atlanta Thrashers teammates expressed feelings of embarrassment over the fatherly passing style of the 48-year-old veteran defenseman.


"I know he means well, but his passes are so soft. Almost effeminate," said 22-year-old right wing Bryan Little. "And then he spends all this time telling us that his way of passing is just as good and effective as the way we do it, more effective even."


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