daledanicarant

NASCAR in Talks with Dale, Jr. and Danica Patrick to Conceive a Super-Marketable Baby

NASCAR officials are reportedly close to a deal with Dale Earnhardt, Jr. and Danica Patrick in which the circuit’s two most popular names will engage in intercourse in order to ... Continue Reading →
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Google is Mean to America’s Crappiest Sports Teams and Athletes

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Danica Patrick Crashed Out by Her Boyfriend Ricky Stenhouse

That is some aggressive foreplay. Continue Reading →
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Danica Patrick’s Car Out for the Season with Torn Engine

Danica Patrick's car is out for Sunday's Fresh Fit 500, and is likely out for the season, after suffering what mechanics believe to be a torn engine. A look under the hood ... Continue Reading →
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Danica Patrick Motivated to Prove That Women Can Drive Cars

Danica Patrick will start from the pole position in Sunday's Daytona 500, motivated to become the first woman to win the prestigious race. "Women have always heard how we're ... Continue Reading →
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IndyCar Crowns Danica Patrick Indianapolis 500 Champion

It’s not safe making jokes at 225 mph. Continue Reading →
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DanicaPatrickCantDrive.com is Somehow Available on GoDaddy.com

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Danica Patrick Definitely Needs Car Insurance

You see, she’s marketable because she’s mildly attractive and sometimes finishes races. Continue Reading →
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Danica Patrick Arm Tattoo

He also has Freddy Adu, Anna Kournikova and Michelle Wie tattoos. Continue Reading →

A father warns his daughter about pursuing her dreams, lest she become a female douchebag like Danica Patrick.

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Danica Patrick Nags Car to 5th Place Finish in Indy 500

Danica Patrick earned one of her best finishes ever at the Indianapolis 500 on Sunday thanks to incessantly nagging her car around the track. "You have to keep on the car," ... Continue Reading →

In an unfortunate scheduling mistake, a team of confused gynecologists looks under Danica Patrick’s hood, while inside the garage her excited crew chi

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Danica Patrick speeds past pit row in her first stock car race.

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