"Roger is just a little guy, but we all love him a great deal," said Rob, pulling up his shirt to reveal a his twin protruding from his midsection. An identical brother with Rob and Rex Ryan, the Jets head coach, Roger has flowing gray hair and a goatee.
"How you fkers doin' out there?" said Roger. "Any of you ladies ever done it with a conjoined?" he added before Rob pulled his shirt back down over Roger's body.
"I felt it was time to reveal the truth," said Rob. "People were asking me about the weird protuberance under my shirt, asking if I had some extreme tumor or even if I was pregnant. No, it's just Roger. And he's put some weight on lately. It's been a stressful season."
Rob also blamed Roger for some of the late-game calls that have seen the Cowboys defense collapse repeatedly in the fourth quarter of games.
"I just want to set the record straight, it's Roger who has been making those calls," said Rob, as muffled yells of "You fking lie, you fat fk!" came from under his shirt. "Yeah, Roger is pretty much a total moron. I have to stop listening to him," said Rob, punching at his stomach until Roger quieted.
Picture Tony Romo is Very Surprised
He must have just seen the fourth quarter.
Picture Tony Romo's High School Yearbook
Antonio probably blew it all over his prom date.
Picture Xbox Romo Achievement
You then somehow blow getting this achievement.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Especially the delusion.
Picture Rob Ryan's Bikini Lady Play Card
Is she wearing shoes? Because Rex would find that disgusting.
Picture Tony Romo and Pee-Wee Herman
Pick which one you'd rather have starting a playoff game for you.
Picture Dallas Cowboys Forearm Tattoo
That tattoo looks even more foolish in December and January.