At least the bear didn't blood dope. That would really taint cycling.
Take THAT, Lance Armstrong.
What idiot put a road sign on road?
Imagine how strong and virile Thom Yorke would be with some roids.
Opinion If Athlete Ads Were Honest
Lance Armstrong never flew. Aliens are a performance enhancer.
"It is one big lie," said Armstrong. "I never failed a test. Not a single test. I am going to take Lance Armstrong for everything he has for spreading these lies about me."
Armstrong's lead attorney, Tim Herman, said: "I'm confused. But per Lance's orders, I will proceed quickly and fiercely with this lawsuit. Unless, you know, Lance Armstrong tells me to stop. The other one. Again. I'm confused."
Others close to the cyclist wonder if nearly 15 years of heavy and non-stop drug use has left Armstrong with cognitive issues or even dementia, as it's not possible to sue one's self.
Armstrong said he is of sound mind.
"You know who isn't going to be of sound mind? Lance Armstrong when he finds out I'm coming after him for spouting filth about me."
Note: Refresh frequently as names will be dropped as new allegations and scandals emerge.
1. Michael Jordan*
2. Pete Sampras
3. Kerri Strug
4. Jeff Gordon's car
5. Aaron Sele
6. Willie Mays Hayes
7. Zubaz pants
8. NHL '94
9. maybe a bowler
10. Jaromir Jagr's mullet
11. Baseball commissioner Fay Vincent
12. Don Shula
14. Vin Scully
15. Rik Smits
16. Morten Andersen
- - -
* Probably did steroids. He was too competitive not to.
You go hardwood or it's cheating.