Filed Under » Conor McKeon

Rap, rock, country … we all like different kinds of music.

Some people even like the "musical" rap-rock-country "stylings" of people like Big & Rich and Cowboy Troy. Such people probably also enjoy these seven songs — the worst athlete songs of all-time.

There are many ways to stereotype someone. Most of them are wrong and unfair.

Except for one: your favorite team.

The team you choose to root for says a lot about you. In fact, it says everything about you. Here are a few examples.

Whether David Stern likes it or not, Dwyane Wade, Lebron James and other free agents will talk about their plans for free agency. As will coaches and team owners.

And chances are, they might even organize these summits on Facebook.

Citing a desire to cut through the red tape that plagues the educational system for star NCAA basketball players, the University of Kentucky has awarded incoming freshman hoops sensation Brandon Knight with an honorary degree in “Sociology or Sports Management or Something Really Easy.”

“Brandon gives as much a f-ck about being educated as we do about educating him," explained Kentucky president Lee Todd Jr. “He’s not going to class, and if he does, it’ll be for a semester tops. So this is no more of a farce than pretending that he’s an actual student-athlete. And he deserves an honorary degree as much as any other famous person.”

Reading a prepared statement, head coach John Calipari lauded the decision: “I’d like to point out to all of the critics that Kentucky currently has the highest rate of honorary degrees of any team in the country. This is a great day for myself, Kentucky basketball, and insert NBA- ready point guard here.”

Former Indiana and Texas Tech coach Bobby Knight was unhappy with the decision, saying, “This is no way to prepare young men for the rest of their lives. The only way to properly do that is to abuse them verbally, physically, and emotionally for four years, so when they get out of college they’ve been emotionally scarred as much as possible and are prepared to take out all of their pent up frustration on everyone around them. That leads to success. In one area, at least. Like your career. It usually messes up your family.”

NBA commissioner David Stern weighed in on the situation while speaking on a talk radio program, “I realize that this is all happening because of the rule I instituted, but let me be perfectly clear: Yes, the Constitution says being 18 means you’re mature enough to enlist in the military and defend our country. But this is the NBA, not the Army. I mean, we’re talking about life and death here. Of our brand, I mean. Life and death of the NBA brand.”

Duke head coach Mike Krzyzewski didn't have an opinion on Kentucky's move.

"Is Brandon Knight a rich white kid or son of a former professional athlete?" he asked. "No? Then why should I give a shit?”

One day after he suggested LeBron James should sign with the Chicago Bulls, the NBA fined President Barack Obama $100,000 for violating the league’s anti-tampering rules.

During an interview with Marv Albert, the President said that Derrick Rose and Joakim Noah are, “a pretty good core” and then added: “You know, you could see LeBron fitting in pretty well there."That was all the NBA front office needed to hear, as they slapped the Commander In Chief with the same fine given to Mavericks owner Mark Cuban, who recently stated he will try to bring Lebron to Dallas.

“We want to remind everyone that no one is out of the NBA’s jurisdiction. If you go on the record about any player before July 1st, you are going to be fined," said Commissioner David Stern. "It doesn't matter what position you're in, even if it's perceived to be more powerful than mine."

This isn’t the first time an Administration has found itself in hot water with the world of professional sports. In 1962 the Kennedy Administration was slapped with a "cease and desist" notice by the NFL after organizing a Sunday game of two-hand touch football on the lawn of the White House,which directly coincided with a Redskins matchup. In 1997, President Clinton was fined by Nike after sporting a flag pin lapel instead of a pin with the Nike swoosh, per the conditions of a campaign donation. And in 2006, President George W. Bush was suspended for 50 games by Major League Baseball after testing positive for cocaine following the first pitch at the Nationals Opening Day game.

White House spokesman Robert Gibbs said the president hopes to speak with Commissioner Stern in hopes of avoiding the fine.

"I am sure they can come to a gentlemen's agreement," said Gibbs. "After all, the president did Commissioner Stern a favor last year and looked the other way when he used advance interrogation tactics on Tim Donaghy. No man should be forced to sit in a cell and answer questions from Craig Sager for 36 hours."

What was intended to be a night to celebrate the diversity of America turned out to be a somber reminder of our nation’s past failures, as starting pitcher Kyle Weir’s three strikeout performance prompted a ‘KKK’ sign to be hung in the stadium’s right field bleachers for 8 innings in last night’s Triple-A contest between the Pawtucket Red Sox and Syracuse Chiefs.

Though Weir’s complete game shutout was certainly a noteworthy achievement, the top story on everyone’s mind was the three oversized, makeshift K’s which were hung prominently at McCoy Stadium. The Red Sox had designated the night as Minority Appreciate Night, and any minorities in attendance were given 75-percent off ticket prices.

“It’s really a shame," said Wesley Jackson, an African-American who had brought his four children to the game. “I didn’t notice it until the 3rdinning or so, but once you see something like that you can’t unsee it. But the worst part was definitely being asked by my son what KKK meant. I mean, the racial injustices of our people isn’t something you talk about between bites of a 5 dollar hot dog.”

“Look, I’m not a racist," said Weir, clearly agitated from the chorus of boos he was greeted with as he walked off the mound after the top of the 9th. “It’s not like I don’t want to not strike people out, it just happened that way. I’m a groundball pitcher, and that’s baseball.”

This isn’t the first time a designated promotional night has gone awry for Pawtuckett. Last year the team wore their alternate, black away jerseys to a game, which drew the ire of fans who came for KKK Appreciation Night.

Athletes talk all the time about how sports are a business. And they're right. In fact, many of our sports institutions have clear equivalents in the business world.

Take a look.

Duke : Wall Street

Why they’re similar:Few institutions draw as much ire as Duke and Wall Street, which is strange, because the whiny rich white guys are usually the ones we root for.

Why they’re really similar: No two groups have experienced the wrath of being the recipients of bailouts, whether by ref or government, than these two.

Why they’re different:In the past year the President bet on Wall Street and against Duke. He was wrong about the latter, and if the slightly decaying cardboard that makes up my living room furniture is any indication, he might be wrong about the former, too.

With every mathematical possibility exhausted and all the ping pong balls pulled, The United States Coast Guard wound up with the right combination, and has earned the first selection in the 2010 military draft.

The Coast Guard, sarcastically regarded in military circles as “The Clippers", have been the odds-on favorite to win the lottery every year since it was implemented. Season by season they find themselves in last place among the fived Armed Forces in the two primary statistical categories used in the military: Blowing Shit Up and Blowing People Up. They also suffered a notable defeat this year when this one Cuban guy on a raft came ashore near Miami undetected.

“We’ve haven’t always had the best luck when it comes to drafts," said Admiral Thad Allen. "But I think this is the year we turn things around. We’ve heard everything from 'Glorified Lifeguards' to 'Campus Police with Swimsuits', to — of course — 'The Clippers of the Military.' But that’s all going to change this year. We have our eye on a kid who we really think can be great at blowing both shit and people up.”

The Guard is expected to take Virginia high school senior Taylor Erickson with the top pick. Erickson, the son of high ranking Marines officer Robert Erickson, was hoping to follow his father to the Marines, but says he’ll go wherever he has to.

“If it’s the Coast Guard, then it’s the Coast Guard. I’m really just happy to become a part of the U.S Military and to finally get paid to blow shit up.”

Several draft experts feel Mass Maritime ROTC Candidate Robert Shay would be the safer choice for the Coast Guard, given his expressed desire to, “go somewhere close to home and to, you know, not get shot at.” But Admiral Allen has promised to take the best available candidate.

This marks the second time the Coast Guard’s had the first pick this decade. Last year, they selected Blake Griffin with the pick, but the 6’10 Griffin was picked off by enemy snipers his first day at sea and didn’t see any action for the rest of the year.

Lebron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers were eliminated in the 2nd round of the playoffs. And while Mr. James' stock may be down a bit, by no means is Cleveland ready to see him leave to New York, Chicago or anywhere else.

That's why they threw together this billboard campaign that's being rolled out across Cleveland today.

There are many different coaches. In fact, there seem to be about 20 or 30 on every team now. But every coach fits into one of these six categories …