"During a time when many people try to claim that America is no longer No. 1, that America is not exceptional, this proves that theory wrong," said President Obama. "The American waistline is as great, no greater, than it ever has been."
Data shows that 35.7% of the American population is obese.
"America is an eating dynasty," said Chinese premier Wen Jiabao. "As dominant as their Dream Team Olympic basketball team was, the USA is even better at eating. And they are only going to get better."
Jiabao pointed to the USA's remarkable youth eating program which has produced an obesity rate in American children of 17%.
"Most American kids can eat more while sitting on the couch watching a 30-minute TV show than our strongest and most active adults can eat in a single day," said Jiabao. "I can't even imagine the state of American plumbing."
Stuffed Quahog Eating Contest
What: Contestants must eat as many stuffed quahogs AKA stuffed clams as possible in 90 seconds.
Where: Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Winnings: gift certificate, t-shirt, picture on the wall
Why, God? Why?: Clams look disgusting. They stink. And they have the consistency of chewing your own tongue. While a 90-second contest isn't long, most people need more time than that to even get up the courage to try to eat what is essentially a sandy, rubber vagina.
World's Pig Feet Eating Championships
What: Competitors try to eat the most pigs feet, in pounds, in 10 minutes.
Where: New Jersey State Fair (in 2007)
Winnings: $750 to 1st Place
Why, God? Why?: Pigs are seen as the filthiest animal. So why gorge on the part of the pig body that has been walking around and marinating in its own pig feces every day of its pig life? Plus, we're talking New Jersey farm pig filth. That pig feces is probably radioactive.
That seemed pointless. He must have been very hungry.
"The eating competitions are exciting and they're what the sport of competitive eating is known for. It's what the public sees," said a sweaty Chestnut, minutes after clogging his toilet for the last time. "But only those on the inside know that the real excitement comes after the competitions in the competitive eaters' bathrooms."
With his girlfriend cheering him on and his hotel's maintenance man serving as a witness, Chestnut began clogging his toilet just minutes after arriving back at his midtown Manhattan hotel following the competition.
"It's all about timing and strategy," said Chestnut. "Start too soon and all of that hot dog meat hasn't hit your colon yet. Start too late and well, you've got quite a mess on your hands."
Chestnut says he knew he would have a shot at the toilet clogging record right at the start.
"The first log came out thick, wide and dense and dropped right over the hole in the toilet," he said. "I knew it was a clogger. So I flushed and, sure enough, brown poop water came right up to the rim of the toilet. A perfect clogging."
PHILLIP WAYNE GRANGER
RENO, NEV. > Competitive Eating
Granger, 32, set a world record last week by consuming five humans he had murdered in and around the Reno area. The serial killing cannibal is still at large and authorities request any tips that could lead to his apprehension. Granger is considered very dangerous and, if he avoids apprehension, a serious threat to Joey Chesnut and Takeru Kobayashi or anyone else who looks delicious.