"Ahhhhhhh! I hate nickels and pennies!" screamed one fan as he tore up second base and hurled it into the outfield. "Let's at least finally get rid of the penny, am I right?!"
The night started okay as fans seemed pleased by the discount beer, but they soon became frustrated over getting handfuls of change in exchange for their 13-cent beers or due to the annoyance of counting out exact change. Some were aggravated by having to pass change back and forth down their row between fans and beer vendors. It finally erupted in violence when a fan tried to buy two beers for a quarter and couldn't find an extra penny. He punched the vendor in the face and then stole a roll of pennies.
"I have all the money now!" he screamed, his face splattered with blood. "I am king of Cleveland!"
While most fans spilled into the field sending players running into the clubhouse to safety other stayed in their seats, rifling through their pockets and trying to count out exact change.
"Does anyone have two cents? I need two pennies!" one enraged fan yelled. Unable to secure the needed change, he set fire to a trash can.
- Rays - it's easy for the talented Rays to turn it around and stay positive because there are no fans in the stands to boo or heckle them
- Marlins - they have an evil owner who knowingly fielded a team of nobodies ... it's basically the plot of "Major League"!
- Indians - they are the Cleveland Indians and they're in last place ... it's basically the plot of "Major League"!
- Astros - at some point all of those strikeouts will probably start falling in for hits
- Padres - they'll turn things around as soon as they move the Petco fences in to 200-feet when they're batting and back to 700-feet when the opponent is batting
- Cubs - they'll start winning once they get to play all those NL Central games against the Astros and then go on a tear from there. What? Ohmigod. Poor Cubs.
It's a long way from the glory days of playing for the Pittsburgh Pirates. So depressing.
"Who the hell are you?" Guy no one ever heard of
Picture Indians Fan Loves Dick
Dick is a lucky guy/thing.
Don't judge. They may be texting each other.
Don't ever ask them to throw a floor-length pass.
Hey, Cleveland can't support three terrible teams.