Workers have removed the iconic "We Are All Witnesses" billboard of Lebron James in downtown Cleveland.
What has been put up in its place is far more depressing than the empty side of a building would have been.
North Jersey, home of 30-degree temperatures and rain in February and also swampland and refineries year-round! has been named the host of the 2014 Super Bowl.
Applications to host the 2015 game are already coming in to the NFL. Here is a copy of one.
Texas quarterback Colt McCoy hoped to go among the top picks in the NFL Draft, but he fell all the way to the 3rd round and the 85th pick overall where the Cleveland Browns selected him. Now he has vowed revenge on those who passed on him. Especially the Browns.
"I was initially plotting my revenge on the other 31 teams who didn't pick me, but that seemed unrealistic," said McCoy. "I mean, even if I end up starting for the Browns one day, I may never play all 31 teams in my career. So I thought I'd narrow my revenge."
So that fell to the Browns, who passed over McCoy once in the first round and then two more times in the second.
"Why should I do them any favors?" said McCoy. "They didn't want me three times. Most teams only didn't want me twice. If anything, I should be more bent on revenge against the Browns. And I am."
McCoy says he will do everything in his power to bring the Browns organization down from causing a distraction off the field to playing poorly on the field.
"If I can help it, the Browns will never win a game," said McCoy. "They'll wish they never passed on Colt McCoy three times."
But Browns head coach Eric Mangini says he isn't concerned.
"Big deal," he said. "I don't think we have a player on this roster who doesn't seem committed to making us lose. If he wants to catch our attention, he should play well."
The NFL free agency season kicked off at midnight on Friday without a salary cap and Lebron James has reportedly already received big-money offers from all 32 NFL teams.
"Lebron is our No. 1 priority," said Browns general manager Tom Heckert. "We don't want him to leave Cleveland and we are fortunately not constrained by a salary cap like the Cavaliers or teams in the NBA. We have the first opportunity to get him, and it's our intention to do that. Browns fans have been through too much. We owe them this."
James was an All-Ohio wide receiver at St. Vincent-St. Mary High School in Akron, Ohio, before quitting football after his junior year to focus on basketball. But it's not so much his accomplishments on the field that make him attractive to NFL teams.
"Think about it Tim Tebow is a good football player and he had a 38.5-inch vertical leap at the combine," said Raiders scout Mike McKinzie. "Lebron can jump even higher than that, so we're basically talking about what would have been a multiple Heisman winner. And who knows how fast he could run the 40. He has really long legs. Maybe 3.5 seconds? Maybe 2.5? Wow."
The Raiders have offered James the largest contract so far 15 years, $400 million, with all but the final year guaranteed but James' advisor, Maverick Carter, says the Cavaliers star will look for more than just money.
"Lebron knows the only thing missing on his resume is a ring," said Carter. "He wants to sign with an NFL team that can win a championship. So then he can also sign a basketball contract with the Knicks and lose for a ton of money and not feel bad about it."
Cleveland Browns quarterback Brady Quinn made a bold promise today – and one many think he may not be able to keep – when he promised little William Tyler, a 6-year-old Browns fan suffering from terminal cancer, that he will throw the boy one completion in his next game.
“William asked Brady to throw him five touchdowns and Brady said, ‘I’m sorry, but I don’t think I can do that for you, little boy,’” said Tara Guzman, Tyler’s nurse. “So then William asked him for one touchdown and Brady kind of hemmed on that one, too. So they went back and forth on stuff like that for a while before Brady finally agreed to try to throw him one single completion. I think it was a fair compromise.”
The little boy says he hopes Quinn comes through on his promise.
“My daddy says that all the Browns need to win is for Brady to not completely f—k it all up and lose the game all by himself,” said William. “And, yeah, my parents say I’m allowed to say bad words like ‘f—k’ if I want to because I’m dying. So hopefully he can complete just one pass for me and the Browns will win a game. I just hope he knows I meant that he has to complete a pass to another Browns player, not the other team.”
Quinn says he is not the one to make brash predictions, but admits he is feeling pretty confident heading into the game.
“I feel like I played well in practice and, at the very least, I feel like I won't play worse than Derek Anderson," said Quinn. “So, yeah, I think I can throw a completion, and who knows – I could go off, get a few breaks and maybe even have two or three. I don’t to limit myself and put a cap on it.”
No matter what the outcome on the scoreboard is, though, little William’s father is hoping against hope that Quinn comes through for his son with the promised completion.
“Brady is William’s favorite player, so this would mean a lot to him and put a smile on his face if it happens,” said Greg Tyler, the stricken boy’s father. “Although I find it kind of depressing that Brady Quinn is his favorite player. It makes me think he hates himself for having cancer and has completely given up on life.”
ADD: Mohamed Massaquoi, WR, Browns Pick up a wide receiver on the Browns? Insane! Maybe not. In his past three games, Massaquoi has accounted for 55, 69 and 68-percent of his team's entire receiving yards respectively. That's amazing. Of course, it's the Browns so their offense generated only 414 total yards of passing over the past three games. Pathetic. Even for the Browns. And in the game Massaquoi had 69-percent, he only had one catch for 16 yards. But BUT can you imagine if the Browns even develop a semblance of an NFL-quality passing game? Unlikely, but if they did, Massaquoi would be averaging close to 200 yards a game and be the top fantasy receiver in football. And that's not the only advantage he provides. For those of you who think you can now make black jokes because "Oh, I voted for Obama, I'm not a racist" jackpot! You can now make all-Muslims-are-terrorists jokes, too! "Oh, please. I have Mohamed Massaquoi on my fantasy team. I don't hate the A-rabs."
Hi, this is Brady Quinn, quarterback for the Cleveland Browns. But you may know me better from Notre Dame, or from my Subway or EAS commercials.
Either way, you know me and that means you know my muscles, too. They're huge. And you don't get muscles this big without working out. Hard.
Today's workout? The bench.
Follow these tips and soon enough you'll be as good on the bench as I am.
5 BENCH TIPS by Brady Quinn
Step 1 Stretch!
Stretching is an important part of any workout. I like to play two quarters of a football game to stretch. Sometimes I play more, but usually I am pulled after two quarters and sent to the bench.
Step 2 Work those biceps and triceps!
The Cleveland Browns are not much of a team. Most of us hate each other. We fight all the time. Constant losing does that to a team, you know? So when I get sent to the bench, my teammates usually mock me with stuff like: "Hey, Brady, which way to the bench?" My response? "The bench is thattaway!" When delivering the line, start with a strong bicep curl and then extend the arm to point to the bench, working your triceps.
Step 3 Blast your quads!
Now it's time to sit on the bench. Spread your legs about shoulder-width apart and sit back and down onto the bench. Recline slowly to really burn your quads, as this will be only one repetition you'll be here on the bench the rest of the day, unfortunately.
Step 4 Focus on your core!
Strong core muscles are the key to any fit body. Once you are sitting on the bench, you'll want to lean forward and and put your head in your hands to show your disappointment about sucking. Make sure to contract your abs when doing this. Then, after a few minutes, sit back up straight. Contract your lower back muscles to do this move. Next, just wait a minute or two for your teammates to do something embarrassing on the field and contract those abs again down to shamed head-holding. You will do this move an indefinite amount of times each game. You'll have a six-pack by midseason!
Step 5 Don't forget cardio!
Too many bodybuilders forget about cardio. Not only is cardio good for your health and your heart, it's imperative to getting really cut. I do my cardio at the end of my bench workout. You should do the same. If the game is over, it's time to get up off the bench and run into the locker room. Need extra motivation to hit top speed? Listen to the crowd.
"You suck, Brady!"
"I hate you, Browns! I hate you with all my heart!"
"You look like a horse, Quinn!"
Run! Run! Run away from these mean people!
AVOID: Brady Quinn, QB, Browns If you're looking for a backup quarterback in the late rounds of your draft, it may be tempting to draft Brady Quinn, the presumptive starter in Cleveland. But remember Quinn hasn't been officially announced as the Browns starter. Eric Mangini is keeping it a big secret. But this isn't the good kind of secret. This isn't your girlfriend or boyfriend keeping it a secret about where you are going for your anniversary. Or you not knowing exactly how big your year-end bonus will be. This is a bad secret. Like being told that someone played a prank outside your front door and you not knowing if it's a flaming poo bag on the welcome mat or a rotten fish shoved in your mail slot. Either way it's bad. So whatever you do, don't draft this poo bag. (Quinn is the poo bag, of course. Duh! Derek Anderson is totally a rotten fish.)
Our reporter spent the day at Cleveland Browns training camp in Berea, Ohio. Here are his notes.
> The Derek Anderson-Brady Quinn quarterback battle is nearing its second full week and a clear winner is beginning to emerge: every team who gets to play the Browns this year.
> Former Browns head coach Romeo Crennel is oddly still in his usual spot at training camp: asleep in a golf cart on the sidelines.
> First round draft pick Alex Mack is adjusting nicely to the size of the NFL ball when snapping it through his legs to the quarterback. Great pick.
> Braylon Edwards keeps trying to run a tip drill every time a ball is thrown his way.
> The scene from the final season of "The Sopranos" where they gawk in amazement at Eric Mangini is to that show what a scene in which Jon Hamm's character stares dumbstruck at the playing abilities of Bob Uecker would be to "Mad Men."
> Kellen Winslow is no longer on the team, but the Browns practice facility is still heavily mined. Use caution if you visit!