2006: "Perfect storm of events" blesses Arizona with Matt Leinart
News FBI: "We became suspicious of Jimmy Haslam when he showed interest in owning the Cleveland Browns"
"We had no knowledge of any wrongdoing by Mr. Haslam or his company," said an FBI source. "But, obviously, when someone willingly wants to own the Cleveland Browns, that raises a lot of warning flags. Why would anyone want to do that?"
Haslam's company, the Pilot Flying J truck stop chain, was raided by the FBI and IRS this week as part of a fraud investigation. Federal agents say Haslam knew of the fraud. He took ownership of the Cleveland Browns in October.
"He wasn't on our radar at all," confirmed another FBI official. "But when you look for suspicious behavior, purposely identifying with the Cleveland Browns is as suspicious as it gets. Our investigation began that very day. We weren't at all surprised to uncover illegal activity. His Browns move clearly indicated he was prone to doing stupid things."
He's had that vanity plate for decades.
News Chip Kelly Unsubscribes from Monster.com After It Keeps Sending Him Cleveland Browns Job Opportunities
"I got a Monster account years ago to help me find good jobs," Kelly said. "Of course I can work for the Browns. I don't need Monster to do that for me. I can work for the Browns just like I can work for McDonald's. They're wasting my time and clogging up my e-mail inbox."
A Monster representative says Kelly isn't the first person to complain about being contacted about the Cleveland Browns.
"We are looking to fix the problem," said Monster spokesperson Kevin Papronis. "Obviously, we only want to give our users the best experience, and an experience that includes the Cleveland Browns can't be good for anyone."
Damn, Doug. Let's see it.
That was Tim Couch in beer bong form.
It's probably better than a sign with the medical term: ENURESIS.
"Hey, I like to throw the pigskin around," said the vice president. "And I played in high school. So I called up the Browns coach Shurmur, is it? I called him up and said I'd be in Cleveland campaigning and maybe I could play a few snaps. He told me I could start."
Cleveland is 2-6 and essentially out of playoff contention.
"We're always looking for a spark," said Shurmur. "I think the players will be excited and, if you think about it, the vice president isn't that much older than Brandon Weeden. I feel good about our chances."
Biden will play against a Baltimore Ravens defense that has been lit up in recent weeks.
"I look at Joe Flacco and the Ravens like Mitt Romney and the Republicans," said Biden. "They talk a big game and tell you how great they are, but what is there to show for it? Two wars, massive debt and repeated playoff failures. I'm going to torch these bitches with vertical routes."
It's one of the most exciting moments in Cleveland Browns football history.