Filed Under » C.J. Wilson

Free agent starter C.J. Wilson, the most sought after pitcher on the market, announced today that he has come to terms with his mortality following some extreme turbulence he experienced on a flight to Los Angeles.

"You get on a plane with the latest issue of 'Entertainment Weekly' and a sandwich from Au Bon Pain, you don't expect to confront life's biggest question," said Wilson. "But then the pilot tells you that there's some turbulence over Tempe."

"As soon as we got off the plane, he got all zen and existential on me," says Wilson's agent, Bob Garber. "He kept on talking about this conversation he had with angels and 'the man upstairs.' I knew it couldn't have been with [Angels owner] Arte Moreno, because C.J. hasn't had a cell phone since he broke his after hearing that CC Sabathia re-signed with the Yankees. Maybe all of Josh Hamilton's God stuff finally rubbed off on him. Or maybe he's on drugs."