Filed Under » Cincinnati Bengals

Terrell Owens apologized to football fans today if any of his past actions were seen as annoying, self-serving or simply lame and unfunny.

"It took me seeing it in someone else up close, day after day after day, to realize how awful it is," Owens said. "So, please, if in any way I acted like [Chad] Ochocinco in the past, I sincerely apologize. I would have hated me, too."

Owens said he was initially excited to sign with the Bengals, because it extended his NFL career and let him play with a receiver he considered to be very similar to him in Ochocinco. But after a week of training camp that excitement faded.

"Day 1 was awesome. Chad was hilarious," said Owens. "By Day 3 I found myself fake laughing more often and not. And at the end of the first week it was all I could do to not roll my eyes or just yell: 'SHUT THE F—K UP!'"

Owens has tried to avoid Ochocinco as much as possible of late, saying he has an appointment or that he has to use the bathroom if his teammate approaches him.

"That's what the other guys on the team told me to do, because that's what they do," said Owens. "They say trying to avoid Chad brings them together and that it has for years."

So far the plan has worked, although Owens is worried Ochocinco is starting to get suspicious.

"I know I started getting suspicious when my Cowboys teammates had appointments all the time," he said. "I was worried Tony Romo had cancer or something. Now I know he just found me really annoying. And I can't blame him."

Our reporter spent the day at Cincinnati Bengals training camp in Georgetown, Kentucky. Here are his notes.

> Terrell Owens has been on his best behavior so far and is not expected to cause anyone any trouble this season. "Including opposing defensive backs," said one scout. "In fact, especially opposing defensive backs."

> While most teams choose sites for training camp with little to do other than football, the Bengals interestingly train in Georgetown, Kentucky — a town with as much, if not more, to do than Cincinnati.

> After having one of the NFL's easiest schedules in 2009, the Bengals have the league's fourth-toughest schedule this season. The iPhone app RunPee, created by backup quarterback Jordan Palmer, says you can go to the bathroom anytime after Week 10 in Cincinnati's schedule without missing anything meaningful.

> The Bengals won the AFC North last year? Really? That's absurd.

> Defensive back Adam Jones is scheduled to meet with commissioner Roger Goodell in New York on October 20th to discuss whatever he will have gotten in trouble for by then.

> Quarterback Carson Palmer says that if everyone could keep pretending he is an elite quarteback, he would really appreciate it.

> Still looks like the Bengals are sticking with those godawful uniforms. A bold, yet disgusting, choice.

Noted performer and entertainer Chad Ochocinco announced today that he will play in the National Football League in 2010, a role he will prepare for as soon as his upcoming run on a dancing show comes to a close.

"Many people don't know this, but football is something I've been messing with for years," said Ochocinco, who will suit up for the Cincinnati Bengals. "It allows me to show a different side of myself."

But those close to the entertainer fear he is spreading himself too thin and diluting his brand.

"I realize that playing football every Sunday opens Chad up to a new audience," said fellow entertainer Diddy. "But is it really worth doing that with all of the other time commitments he has? And in Cincinnati, Ohio of all places? No one will see that show. He should have gotten with a football team in New York or L.A."

Perhaps most concerning for Ochocinco's friends in the entertainment industry is the performer's insistence that he plans to play a significant amount with the Cincinnati-based football squad.

"I am okay with Chad doing this if that's what he wants to do," said actor Denzel Washington. "But there is a right way to do it. Look at Kim Kardashian's boyfriend. He's a good-looking kid, he's known around Hollywood, has a future here. He's dabbled in football, but he doesn't play much and it's obvious he doesn't take it too seriously. That's the model Chad should follow. He needs to remember where his bread is buttered."

Cincinnati Bengals head coach Marvin Lewis say he is happy to get the performer any way he can.

"I've only met him a few times," said Lewis. "But he seems like a nice guy and is pretty down-to-earth for a big star. I know the people of Cincinnati are excited to get someone in town as famous as Chad Ochocinco, even if it's only a brief stop onto bigger and better things."

The Cincinnati Bengals reportedly have contacted the attorney of a man recently convicted of killing two people in the city about playing for the team this season or as soon as he is released from prison.

“We’re trying to bring a certain toughness and aggression to this team that the Bengals have been lacking,” said head coach Marvin Lewis. “That is why we have renewed our effort to acquire as many players as we can with criminal records. It’s been my experience that you won’t find a tougher, harder football player than one who has served time or is at least willing to commit a felony."

Lewis says he saw this philosophy succeed in Baltimore when he helped coach the Ravens to a Super Bowl title. While the team has just signed Matt Jones and is reportedly interested in Pacman Jones and Donte Stallworth, the latest person on the team's radar isMark Vandenburg — a 25-year-old Cincinnati man and former high school football standout who was convicted last week for killing two people in a botched armed robbery attempt.

“They’ve been covering this guy’s case on the local news and I knew as soon as I saw him that we had to see if we could get him on our team,” said Lewis. “He’s ripped and, of course, he has the requisite criminal background. We can coach a guy up when it comes to football, but that criminal mindset is something that only a very few special ones have. And this guy has it.”

Lewis says the Bengals attorneys are working to overturn Vandenburg’s sentence or set up a work release program that would allow him to suit up for the team on Sundays this fall.

“It’s not like he’s a totally bad guy. He never intended to murder those people at the convenience store,” says Lewis. “He was just trying to rob the place, but then the cashier had to go and push the button under the counter to alert the police. So he had to kill them. What we want is for him to get released from jail so he can use that killer instinct to go after the quarterback. We’re hopeful that the Bengals fever that gripped this city in the past year will be enough for the judge to do us a favor here.”

Vandenburg would join the Bengals impressive – and rapidly growing – list of criminals and troublemakers including Jones, Larry Johnson, Cedric Benson andRey Maualuga.

“This is my seventh year with the Bengals, and I’m slowly but surely getting my kind of players in the system,” said Lewis. “I’m confident we’re close to winning a championship here. I want this city to have a team it can be proud of.”

The media conglomerate run by NFL star Chad Ochocinco, Ocho Cinco News Network, has come under fire recently from fellow journalists claiming that OCNN deliberately shies away from key news stories.

“Not one. Not one news story critical of President Obama or his administration has aired on OCNN,” Fox News personality Glenn Beck told viewers on his show today. “Meanwhile our republic heads ever closer to destruction because OCNN and the rest of the mainstream media isn’t serving the public.”

OCNN was started in October 2009 by Ochocinco as a way to communicate directly to his fans. Since then OCNN has expanded during a time of media cutbacks, and now reports on such topics as what Ochocinco did last Saturday night, how Ray Rice felt after seeing “The Blind Side,” and what kind of sexual positions Chris Cooley and his wife use most. The network is soon expected to pass CNN and MSNBC in ratings. But other members of the press are starting to expect more.

Radio commentator Rush Limbaugh has said OCNN’s growth is due “social concern.”

“The media has been very desirous that a black wide receiver do well in its business,” Limbaugh told listeners.

But it isn’t just conservative members of the media that are publicly calling out OCNN for its journalistic failings. MSNBC correspondent Keith Olbermann spoke out Wednesday night on his show.

“Chad Ochocinco, sir – if that is even your name, sir,” railed Olbermann. “You have within your power to help bring change that this country desperately needs. Health care, sir. Gay marriage, sir. And an immigration policy that serves the many people in this country that share your Mexican background. There are two unjust wars being waged, sir. Or do you not care to have Pat Tillman’s blood on your hands?”

Ochocinco has been uncharacteristically silent on the criticism. His most recent Twitter update read, “@tammytorres roses are red violets are blue no more being lonely now I have you—POW—THAT WAS SO CORNY”.