Picture A Mustache, Hat and Glasses Turns Chip Kelly Into ... Andy Reid!
Duh-duh-duuhhhhhh.
News Chip Kelly Unsubscribes from Monster.com After It Keeps Sending Him Cleveland Browns Job Opportunities
"I got a Monster account years ago to help me find good jobs," Kelly said. "Of course I can work for the Browns. I don't need Monster to do that for me. I can work for the Browns just like I can work for McDonald's. They're wasting my time and clogging up my e-mail inbox."
A Monster representative says Kelly isn't the first person to complain about being contacted about the Cleveland Browns.
"We are looking to fix the problem," said Monster spokesperson Kevin Papronis. "Obviously, we only want to give our users the best experience, and an experience that includes the Cleveland Browns can't be good for anyone."
News Chip Kelly Reportedly Not Disclosing to NFL Teams That His Offense Won't Work in the NFL
"It is true that we have made contact with Chip Kelly and he will be interviewing with us," said Bills general manager r Buddy Nix. "We even conducted an informal, surface interview with him over the phone and he said all the right things."
Nix said he asked Kelly what his greatest weakness is as a head coach and Kelly responded that he "sometimes works too hard and cares too much," completely failing to mention that his trademark offense would be a massive failure in the NFL.
"I don't really follow college football all that closely," said Nix. "But I had overheard someone in our front office voice some concerns about his offense and also that he has no NFL experience and even almost no coaching experience beyond Oregon and New Hampshire. I thought Chip might mention something about that and put a positive spin on it when I asked him about his weakness," said Nix. "But it didn't come up. So I assume that means his offense will work just great in the NFL!"
Picture Chip Kelly Was Fairly Close to Taking the Buccaneers Job
Luckily no one would have seen the wrong cover because no one reads newspapers.
Video Oregon Coach Chip Kelly Cares Not for Oregon Fans
That's pretty tough for a man in a visor.
News Rookie Head Coach Scripts Out Season's First 425 Plays
The intention was to simplify things in his first season on the job. But now first-year head coach Chip Kelly is starting to worry that scripting out his team's first 425 plays could backfire.
"There is uncertainty when a new coach takes over so I wanted to get past that," said Kelly, the new head coach at Oregon. "From the first day of spring practice, I've been drilling these opening 425 plays into my players. And they know them to perfection."
While many coaches script the opening plays of a game, Kelly took it a step farther a step that led to some awkward scenarios in the team's season-opening loss.
"The goal line dive play we ran late in the game on that 3rd-and-long we needed to pick up wasn't ideal," said Kelly. "It was in the script. We got three hard-fought yards. But we needed nine. There was nothing I could do. It is regrettable. But, if you think about it, I don't think we would have been behind at all had we not punted on 2nd-and-goal at the two back in the second quarter."
That scripted play took almost guaranteed Oregon points off the board. It also allowed Boise State to pick up 18 yards to the 20 when the punted sailed easily through the end zone.
"It was our first game. There are going to be some growing pains regardless of the script," said Kelly.
With that lesson learned, Kelly says he will tweak things going forward.
"The offense was executing things perfectly," he said. "The situations just weren't always the best. We need to start putting them in better spots on the field. So next game we will script our defensive plays, too. I'm thinking a weak-side blitz on the 11th play of the game will be perfect."


