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Chicago Bulls bench stalwart Brian Scalabrine was named the NBA's 12th Man of the Year yesterday for his lack of contributions to his team's success despite holding down a roster spot all season.

"Brian really was the definition of a 12th man this year," said Bulls head coach Tom Thibodeau. "He sat at the end of the bench, rarely got to remove his warm-ups and, in the few instances he actually got into a game, made no impact other than providing the fans some laughs with his awkward and error-prone play."

Scalabrine played 28 games in the 2011-2012 season, starting none, and averaged 4.4 minutes played in those 28 appearances with 0.8 rebounds per game, 0.5 assists per game and a 0.1 scoring average — for 32 total points on the season.

"I don't like to base my votes on awards completely off of stats," said TNT broadcast Ernie Johnson. "But you can't overlook what Brian did not do this year. He was completely worthless. A true 12th man. He deserved this … I want to say … honor? But that doesn't sound right. He deserved this recognition. Let's go with that."

The order has been given. Chicago Bulls legend Michael Jordan has reportedly told longtime friend and enforcer Charles Oakley to put an end to up-and-coming Bulls star Derrick Rose.

"It's gone on long enough," said a source close to Jordan. "Michael is not going to sit by while some kid attempts to forge a new basketball legacy in Chicago. Michael is adamant that he always be the King of Chicago. So Derrick must die."

Despite Rose winning NBA Rookie of the Year two seasons ago and making the All-Star team last year, Jordan reportedly did not become threatened by the 22 year-old star until very recently.

"Mike didn't think Rose would ever be much of a player," said a Charlotte Bobcats staff member who wished to remain anonymous, "because he is a terrible, terrible, terrible judge of talent. Just terrible. Really, a few years ago he was worried that Kirk Hinrich would challenge all of his Bulls records. Derrick even being a serviceable NBA player caught Michael by complete surprise."

While NBA legends Michael Jordan and Magic Johnson have come out to say that they would never have chosen to join forces with other NBA stars to win a title, former Chicago Bulls forward — and three-time NBA champion — Jud Buechler said today that Lebron James made the right decision by signing with Miami.

"Could I have tried to win one myself?" said Buechler, speaking to no one in particular on the back porch of his house. "Sure. That would have been great. But I tried to do that with the Nets, Spurs and Warriors. And not only did I not win a title, but I often didn't even get in games. That's when I knew I needed to make a move."

Following the 1993-1994 season, Buechler chose not to re-sign with Golden State — partly because he wasn't offered a contract, and partly for the opportunity to play with Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen.

"You know, all respect to Michael, but it's sort of convenient for him to come out and say that he never would have done what Lebron did," said Buechler. "But he already had Scottie on his team. And then I came along, too. It's not like he did it by himself. I averaged 2.7 points per game during our three-peat."

Those mid-90s Bulls teams are regarded among the greatest teams in NBA history, and Buechler's name is listed on the roster.

"I know it is. I check to make sure it's still there regularly," he said. "At the end of the day, careers are measured by championships. Lebron knows that. And I think someday he'll be mentioned in the same sentence as Bill Russell, Magic, Michael, Kobe, and Jud."