May 10, 2013

Video Joakim Noah: Troll King of the NBA

He'd get punched more often if he didn't look like a lady.

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May 13, 2013

Opinion EXCLUSIVE! Screen capture of Derrick Rose's Gmail inbox

EXCLUSIVE Screen capture of Derrick Roses Gmail inbox - Image 1
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Filed Under   NBA   Chicago Bulls   Derrick Rose
May 10, 2013

Opinion How to Write a Sports Column About Derrick Rose

How to Write a Sports Column About Derrick Rose - Image 1

Directions: Just circle a word or phrase in each list, print it out, hand it in to a major media outlet and you'll be a published NBA columnist! You're welcome!

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Derrick Rose sat on the bench in a suit and tie again last night …

… like the huge pussy that he is.
… and probably had conflicted feelings about it.
… which had to kill him, because there is no bigger competitor in sports than Derrick Rose.

As has been well documented by now, Rose was cleared to return to the court by doctors two months ago. …

… So that's that. He can play. There is no debate.
… Yet an athlete knows his body better than a doctor does.
… But who's to say the team's doctors don't want to callously rush him back to the court before he's ready, the true state of his knee be damned?

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Filed Under   NBA   media   Chicago Bulls   Derrick Rose
May 9, 2013

News LeBron Carries Tiny Nate Robinson Home to Show His Kids

LeBron Carries Tiny Nate Robinson Home to Show His Kids - Image 1
Following Miami's blowout victory over the Chicago Bulls in Game 2 of their Eastern Conference semifinals series, Heat star LeBron James scooped Nate Robinson off the court, carried him into the locker room and placed the Bulls guard in a gym bag.

"My kids are going to love this little fella," said James, feeding Robinson bits of food he grabbed from the post-game, locker room spread. "Look how tiny he is. He's adorable."

James then called his kids and told them he had a surprise for them and that he'd be home soon. He then quickly dressed without showering, picked up his bag with Robinson inside it and exited for the players' parking lot.

"They're going to love playing with him," said a smiling James, on the way out. "I just hope they don't get too attached. I can't keep him. He has a home in Chicago."

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May 08, 2013

Picture Joakim Noah Gets a Post-Ejection Bird

The security guard hates his job.

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Filed Under   NBA   Chicago Bulls   Miami Heat   Joakim Noah
May 07, 2013

Picture Marco Belinelli Makes Big Balls Gesture

Just a normal day in Italy.

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Filed Under   NBA   Chicago Bulls   Marco Belinelli
May 06, 2013

Picture Derrick Rose's United Center Statue

It's dedicated to all those who just don't feel mentally right some days.

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Filed Under   NBA   Chicago Bulls   Derrick Rose
May 6, 2013

News Chicago Bulls' HR Director Informs Derrick Rose That He's Out of Personal Days

Chicago Bulls HR Director Informs Derrick Rose Hes Out of Personal Days - Image 1
Chicago Bulls point guard Derrick Rose will either have to start playing basketball again or will begin having his paycheck docked for missed days. This according to Mindy Trigman, the team's director of human resources.

"We're only into the first week of May and already Derrick has used all of his personal days for 2013," said Trigman. "I had him in my office today to inform him of this. Considering he does not have a doctor's note allowing him to not work, we consider his absences to be personal days. I also informed him of this in writing so it's in his file now."

Rose sustained a knee injury last year, but was cleared by doctors to return to work two months ago. Despite taking part in practices, he has not worked one game night.

"I don't know, I'm just going through some stuff mentally," said Rose. "I was hoping this was the kind of company that would want me to work at 100-percent. I made it clear to the HR lady that I am willing to work from home while I continue to recuperate mentally, but she said there is not a way to play basketball on the couch."

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Filed Under   NBA   Chicago Bulls   Derrick Rose
May 3, 2013

News Derrick Rose Says He Will Return for Game 8 or the Gold Medal Round

Derrick Rose Says He Will Return for Game 8 or the Gold Medal Round - Image 1
Formerly injured Chicago Bulls point guard Derrick Rose announced today that he feels "almost 350-percent" and plans to return to the lineup.

"The guys have shown they can win without me," said Rose, who tore his ACL more than a year ago and was cleared by doctors to play two months ago. "But I think I can contribute under the right circumstances."

Rose says he talked to Bulls head coach Tom Thibodeau this morning and assured him that he will return if the Brooklyn-Chicago series goes to a "Game 8" or if the Bulls reach the "gold medal round of the playoffs."

"I told him: 'Thanks so much, Derrick. Way to step up for the team,'" said Thibodeau. "'No one will think you're a pussy now.' Of course, these are things I have to keep saying publicly. I of course personally think he's being a pussy and don't know if I can ever trust him as a player again. But publicly: 'The Chicago Bulls continue to stand behind Derrick Rose's personal timeline for his return.' Make sure you quote me on that part."

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Filed Under   NBA   Chicago Bulls   Derrick Rose
April 23, 2013

Picture Nate Robinson Tattoo from Hell

All basketball nets should be replaced with flaming mesh bags.

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