News Out-of-Shape Chan Ho Park Unsure How He Became Leader of North Korea
"Three weeks ago I was out flying my kite in a park, when all of a sudden three strong men threw me into a van and knocked me unconscious," Park wrote in the letter. "When I awoke, I was dressed as a military commander and was being goaded to kiss the waxy corpse fingers of Kim Jong-il."
After leaving the United States after the 2010 season, Park gained some 70 pounds due to a diet heavy in saturated fats and taffy. His appearance closely resembles that of Kim Jong-il's youngest son, Kim Jong-un, who was reported by official State media to be his father's successor.
Park's letter describes a bizarre arrangement where he is alternately praised and threatened by his attendants, who fear his supreme authority but must also intimidate him into maintaining the charade. In one instance, Park was made to select a wife from a crowd of hundreds of weeping women, all of whom were dressed as Tommy Lasorda. In another, he was forced to make a threatening phone call to the U.N., where he said he'd leak naked pictures of the delegation if they didn't ship a million tons of rice to North Korea by the end of the day.
Video Chan Ho Park's "Unluckiest man alive" speech
On July 4, 1939, Yankees legend Lou Gehrig gave a famous speech to the fans at Yankee Stadium. But as a class organization, the Yankees honor not only their stars — but their aging, long relievers on one-year contracts, too. So today, before a pack
