Next column: Do you like football?
AVOID: Carson Palmer, QB, Bengals Like a hot dog, Carson Palmer may seem appetizing, but he is tainted by toxic ingredients you should avoid if you are smart.
Consider the similarity between what fills a hot dog and what surrounds Carson Palmer.
Hot dog: leftover scrap meats /Bengals: Cedric Benson
Hot dog: saturated fats /Bengals: Andre Smith
Hot dog: filler /Bengals: Chad Ochocinco
Hot dog: floor scrapings / Bengals: Laveranues Coles
Hot dog: mechanically separated poultry / Bengals: Chris Henry
Hot dog: preservatives / Bengals: Marvin Lewis
Hot dog: unidentifiable /Bengals: Ben Utecht
And even if Carson Palmer wasgood and even if he wasn't injury prone and even if he played on a good team really. That picture. You can't draft him. You just can't. You must question his judgment. If there's one pass on the line with my fantasy season in the balance, I don't want the guy who thought it was a savvy marketing move to fellate a weiner making the decision on where to put the ball.