March 29, 2012

Picture Brett Favre Vikings Leg Lamp

Maybe the lamp will try to play in the NFL this year. It would be as effective as Brett Favre.

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Filed Under   NFL   Brett Favre   Minnesota Vikings
March 2, 2012

Opinion 8 Twitter Tips for Brett Favre

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Brett Favre has joined Twitter. Here are some ways our sporting hero can better utilize the service.

#1 – Be Informative, Interesting or Funny

Twitter's Compose Tweet box asks the question "What's happening?" But no one actually cares what's happening. You will be a success and build up a following if you tweet out interesting or amusing — or both — information and links. No one cares about the inane, everyday thoughts that might go through your head, such as:

"Mowing this lawn."

"Playing touch-football in my jeans with my friends and our dogs in a field."

"Desperately needing attention and am considering another comeback."

#2 – Interact with Your Followers

Of the tens of thousands or hundreds of thousands or even millions of followers you accrue, as many as 14-percent of those people will be actual fans, not people following you simply for the joy of hating you and ripping your every word. Nurture your relationship with the 14-percent.

#3 – Keep an Eye on Trending Topics

Twitter's Trending Topics are the 10 buzzwords or phrases most popular on the site at any given moment. Keeping an eye on them gives you a snapshot of what is currently going on in the world, albeit what's going on in the world in several specific categories: Justin Bieber, really racist jokes, dead or fake dead celebrities, and which athlete currently sucks the most. You know: the important stuff.

For example, two years ago — before you were on Twitter — you showed up a lot in Trending Topics as the athlete who sucked. Congratulations!

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Filed Under   NFL   Brett Favre
December 21, 2011

Picture Brett Favre's Christmas Card Photo Thankfully Penis-Free

The inside of the card could be from the waist down.

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Filed Under   NFL   Brett Favre
September 20, 2011

Picture Guy's Obituary Expresses Dislike for Joe Mauer

My obituary will list all of my fantasy sports titles.

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Filed Under   MLB   Brett Favre   Minnesota Twins   Joe Mauer
July 26, 2011

Picture Cover of Madden 2045

He's like a kid's skeleton our there.

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Filed Under   NFL   Brett Favre   Minnesota Vikings
July 25, 2011

Picture Favre + Eagles = Pure NFL Evil

Eagles fans would give Brett Favre the booing he's always deserved.

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Filed Under   NFL   Brett Favre   Philadelphia Eagles
February 9, 2011

Opinion Green Bay's Victory Celebration Had An Unwanted Visitor

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Filed Under   NFL   Brett Favre   Green Bay Packers
January 25, 2011

Opinion Text Messages Brett Favre Received After the Packers Won the NFC Championship

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Filed Under   NFL   Brett Favre   Green Bay Packers
January 20, 2011

Opinion Favre Letter to Packers: "This is your last chance to start me at quarterback"

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January 18, 2011

News Brett Favre Signs One-Day Contract to Retire a Falcon

After reports that Brett Favre had again filed retirement papers with the NFL league office, it is now confirmed that the NFL legend is first signing a one-day contract so he can retire as a member of the Atlanta Falcons, the team for which he made his NFL debut.

"The Falcons organization has given me so much," Favre said in a statement. "Atlanta drafted me, and the team even let me attempt four passes during the 1991 season. Sure, none of the throws were completions – and two were picked off — but I'll never forget the unflagging loyalty this organization and its fans showed me."

The statement continued:

"Plus, the Falcons gave me the opportunity to play home games at a legendary home field like Atlanta-Fulton County Stadium or wherever the hell it was they played then. It really made me feel connected to the history of the game. Some of my best memories are in Atlanta. In fact, some of my only memories are there because I wasn't drunk and on painkillers the whole time."

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Filed Under   NFL   Brett Favre   Atlanta Falcons