Brett Favre clarified his decision to retire permanently from football today, saying he will step away from the game each week during the season from Monday through Saturday, only to briefly unretire for a few hours each Sunday afternoon to play for the Vikings.
"This allows me to sort of tell the truth for a change because, technically, I will be retired for 99-percent of every week. So suck on that, critics," said Favre. "Plus, I get to play, only I don't have to take part in practice or talk to anyone on the team. It's really the best of both worlds. I don't know why I didn't think of this years ago."
Vikings head coach Brad Childress, who only 24 hours ago thought he would be playing the season with Tarvaris Jackson and Sage Rosenfels at quarterback, is ecstatic about Favre's new decision.
"I'd love to have him with us all week like a normal player," said Childress. "But Brett made it clear the last few years that the normal rules don't apply to him. He does what he wants. And I'm happy he'll be doing what he wants for us."
The future Hall of Famer won't be practicing with his Vikings teammates before Week 1 or anytime after that but Childress isn't worried the lack of familiarity will negatively impact Minnesota's offense.
"It's not like Brett was going to learn our playbook anyway," said Childress. "He's just going to run around back there and chuck it as far down the field as he possibly can. He's sort of a hybrid of the negative qualities of Tarvaris and Sage that way only he has something very special they don't: the universal love and respect of the media. That's huge in leading a football team to a championship."
Favre said he plans to hold a tearful retirement press conference each Sunday afternoon and then leak rumors to the press throughout each week that he is unretiring, followed by a dramatic unretirement ceremony before every game at midfield before kickoff.