Picture Ron Artest Meets His Crazy Equal
"Ron Artest's Punch-Out!!!" would be an awesome basketball game.
Should have been you, Carlos Mencia. Should have been you.
#1 David Stern and the Frozen Envelope
The Theory: Before the 1985 NBA Draft lottery, Stern perhaps along with other top NBA executives had the envelope containing the Knicks' card frozen so Stern would be able to feel it by touch and know to leave it for the No. 1 overall pick, handing Patrick Ewing to the Knicks.
Why It Might Be True: The NBA has long wanted the big market Knicks to be good, Stern is a New York native, the team was in the toilet at the time and Patrick Ewing was the most desired rookie to come along in years. Plus, Stern has never struck anyone as the most ethical fellow.
Why It Might Be False: If David Stern was in the business of rigging things so the Knicks would be good, he would have had Isiah Thomas killed years ago. In fact, you have to wonder if there's a conspiracy against the Knicks.
He should consider trying MMA.
Picture Foxy Boxing Knockout Punch
There's no way to know what fluid is flying out of her mouth.
A heavy bag would kill them both.
Mmmm. Tastes like ego.
He shouldn't have used all of his energy arriving to the ring.
If only he could act as well as "The Hangover"s Mike Tyson.