Opinion Boston Red Sox GM Application
"Hitting a baseball, pitching a baseball, catching a baseball, running around the bases they were bad at all of it. Hence all the losing," said a front office source who asked to remain anonymous. "Wait. I don't need to be anonymous," he added. "I'm not really saying anything that's not painfully obvious, right?"
Data analysis supports those claims. The Red Sox "won" only 7 games in September and "lost" 20 games. They also had fewer "runs" than their opponents in all 20 of the defeats.
"For a while I couldn't exactly put my finger on what was happening," said a team source. "Especially with our pitching. But then I realized that when our pitchers would throw the ball, the other team's hitters would often hit it out into the field away from our fielders. That seemed to cause a problem for the team."
According to some reports, starting pitchers Josh Beckett, John Lackey and Jon Lester were among the worst offenders, routinely throwing pitches that were hit so far that many even went over the fence bordering the far end of the field.
"Let's be honest, there is not one single professional reason for me to leave the Red Sox for the Cubs," the 38 year-old told reporters. "I mean, objectively speaking, the Red Sox are a better team with more money and a deeper farm system. I should be here. But this state is so fucking lame now it's unbearable. Seriously, it as a cultural wasteland."
The Brookline native and Yale graduate added that while it was not too long ago that he was proud to be from the Bay State, those feelings have eroded over the last few years.
"We've had enough." EXACTLY! It's been, like, 4 years without a championship.
He also predicted perms would be popular past 1989.
The Red Sox Nation: Utah Chapter is very angry.
"I'll take all the blame if need be," said Epstein. "But we're still in contention and I still believe this team has enough talent to at least secure a wild card."
Yet the fact remains that the team Epstein built contains only 13 present or former All-Stars Josh Beckett, Carl Crawford, J.D. Drew, Jacoby Ellsbury, Adrian Gonzalez, John Lackey, Jon Lester, David Ortiz, Jonathan Papelbon, Dustin Pedroia, Jason Varitek, Tim Wakefield and Kevin Youkilis and not a single additional All-Star or MVP candidate was added at the July or August deadline.
"It's easy to look back now and think that I should have acquired Albert Pujols or Felix Hernandez or both of them and that's probably what we'll do in the offseason but it's tricky if you have too many future Hall of Famers on a team at once," said Epstein. "People think it's really easy to run a team that just buys all of the best players. But it's not. Imagine what it's like to look a David Ortiz in the face and tell him that he's only a pinch hitter now because we added someone better than him."
He can't field, throw, run or slide. HALL OF FAMER!
Good to see Biz Markie getting some work.