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Tim Thomas Releases Statement on Playoff Elimination Goal

What a patriot. Continue Reading →
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Brendan Shanahan Has Suspended the Pane of Glass That Hit David Krejci

That's okay. It's fairly easy to replace glass. Continue Reading →
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Capitals Fans > Tim Thomas

Unfortunately for them, Thomas > Capitals. Continue Reading →
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Bruins Win, Get Assassinated

Dammit. The glass was supposed to break and cut him all up. The CIA is incompetent. Continue Reading →
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NHL Releases the Final Batch of "Because It’s The Cup" Playoff Ads

Continue Reading →
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Lady Boston Bruins Fans Are Awesome

Oh, whores, you’re hilarious. Continue Reading →
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Sleeping Bruins LW Milan Lucic = Sloth from "Goonies"

It’s nice to have teammates who recognize your best attributes. Continue Reading →
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Toronto Resident Announces He is a Boston Bruins Fan

Apparently his friends would prefer him to be a Maple Leafs fan and therefore be suicidal. Continue Reading →
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President Obama’s Official Statement on Not Attending Tonight’s Capitals-Bruins Game

Continue Reading →
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Zdeno Chara Terrifies Children in a Pink Bunny Costume

In his defense, he’d terrify children no matter what he wore. Continue Reading →
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"The Real Housewives of South Boston"

Needs more Welker jerseys to be realistic. Continue Reading →
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Boston Bruins Back Hair

His pubes really like the New England Revolution Continue Reading →
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The Stanley Cup as Firetruck

That will make the Vancouver Fire Department riot. Continue Reading →