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Milan Lucic Consoles Dion Phaneuf’s Crotch

Hey, that's Elisha Cuthbert's job, jerk. Continue Reading →
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Maple Leafs Fan Ready for Boston Bombing Jokes

It’s funny because his team lost 5-2 in their first home playoff game in nine years. Continue Reading →
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Jack Edwards Compares Matt Cooke to Famous Murderer in Wake of Boston Marathon Bombing

He wins the Too Soon Award for Broadcasting. Continue Reading →
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American Sports Fans to Resume Hating Boston Teams in 36 Hours

Boston's sports teams were informed today that they will receive the support and cheers of America's sports fans for 36 more hours in the wake of the apprehension of the ... Continue Reading →
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Cam Neely Contacts Penguins About Shot to Win Elusive Stanley Cup

Former Boston Bruins star Cam Neely got in touch with Pittsburgh Penguins general manager Ray Shero today to ask about the possibility of joining the loaded Penguins for a shot at ... Continue Reading →
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Bruins Goalie Tuukka Rask is Really Bad at Being Angry

Not being able to skate: the first skill of all great goalies. Continue Reading →
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Greatest NHL Shot of the Year Sends Earpiece Into Beer

Mmmm. Beerwax. Continue Reading →
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NHL 13 Has an Outstanding Checking Glitch

So that's how Sidney Crosby gets those concussions. Continue Reading →
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Recent Sports History … As Viewed by a Stereotypical Boston Fan

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Tim Thomas Releases Statement on Playoff Elimination Goal

What a patriot. Continue Reading →
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Brendan Shanahan Has Suspended the Pane of Glass That Hit David Krejci

That's okay. It's fairly easy to replace glass. Continue Reading →
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Capitals Fans > Tim Thomas

Unfortunately for them, Thomas > Capitals. Continue Reading →
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Bruins Win, Get Assassinated

Dammit. The glass was supposed to break and cut him all up. The CIA is incompetent. Continue Reading →
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NHL Releases the Final Batch of "Because It’s The Cup" Playoff Ads

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Lady Boston Bruins Fans Are Awesome

Oh, whores, you’re hilarious. Continue Reading →
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Sleeping Bruins LW Milan Lucic = Sloth from "Goonies"

It’s nice to have teammates who recognize your best attributes. Continue Reading →
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Toronto Resident Announces He is a Boston Bruins Fan

Apparently his friends would prefer him to be a Maple Leafs fan and therefore be suicidal. Continue Reading →
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President Obama’s Official Statement on Not Attending Tonight’s Capitals-Bruins Game

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