Griffin's kidney was removed in a dramatic pre-dunk scene in which TNT host Kenny Smith cut the organ out of Griffin's side while a choir dressed as zombies moaned in the background. Then, with his left side still open with blood and entrails pouring out, Griffin took his kidney from Smith, held it above his head to the delight of the roaring crowd, and then took two steps and dunked the organ, smashing it to the floor below.
The judges gave it perfect 10s, except for Julius Irving, who scored it a 9.
What an idiot. I would never do that.
An exciting missed alley-oop is one of the greatest moments in Clippers history.
"I've never seen anything like that," marveled Clippers head coach Vinny Del Negro. "The combination of athleticism and strength in that kid is something to behold. I just wish he'd stick to showing it off by dunking. His strength is a little counter-productive with some of the finesse plays," he added, likely alluding to a behind-the-back pass Griffin threw last month that decapitated a teammate.
Del Negro briefly pulled Griffin from the game after the forward's bricked layup to remind him to always dunk all of his shot attempts.
"With the way he can jump, pretty much any time he touches the ball on this side of half-court, I want him to dunk it," said Del Negro.
Once inserted back into the game, Griffin got the ball at the top of the three-point line, jumped off one leg, skipped again off the top of the head of the opposing team's center, flipped in the air, slapped the shot clock on his way down and then threw the ball through the rim, denting the court below.
There are the first two successfully completed dunks in Clippers history.
With his projected season debut just a week away, Clippers No. 1 overall pick Blake Griffin faked a season-ending injury, in hopes he would never have to play for the cursed franchise.
"I wasn't thrilled to be drafted by the Clippers. But I didn't have a choice," Griffin said. "Then I got hurt in the preseason and it dawned on me I hold the power. I can avoid playing here forever if I handled this the right way. If I can just trick the Clippers into thinking I'm injury-prone, they might trade me to a decent team and my career. I have hope again. Going through the pain of unnecessary surgery can't take that away."
Griffin's "injury" is the latest setback for a franchise that has won just one playoff series since leaving Buffalo in the late '70s. Still, Clippers coach/GM Mike Dunleavy remains optimistic about Griffin's future.
"This is just a minor setback in what we hope will be a long and fruitful career for Blake," he said. "We see him averaging 7 points and 3 rebounds for us for many years to come. We're talking Michael Olowakandi numbers."
Before Griffin dramatically screamed and fell to ground in his recent rehab session screaming "Oh! Cruel fates! I am hurt! I am a broken man! Woe is me!" Griffin let agent Jeff Schwartz know that this latest setback would be entirely fabricated. Schwartz has already been in contact with more than a dozen other NBA franchises to let them know that Griffin is perfectly healthy and ready to play for a team with a winning history beginning next October.
But Dunleavy remains convinced that after his star's "rehab", Griffin will be playing at a mediocre level with the Clippers for years to come.
"Blake's not going anywhere," said Dunleavy. "You can't shed the stigma of being a Clipper easily, even by just playing with us in the preseason. It sticks with you forever, dragging you ever lower. And if we traded every player who didn't want to play for the Clippers, we wouldn't have enough to put a team on the court. Heck, I don't even want to be here. But no matter what I do, they won't fire me. It's infuriating."