Maybe she bought this sign in Milledgeville, Georgia.
"Hey, I like your pretty hair," Ben Roethlisberger was heard telling Troy Polamalu yesterday during practice. "Why don't you come over here and sit on my lap and tell me what you like about football?"
Polamalu politely declined and pushed his quarterback's hand away from his butt, but Steelers teammates and coaches say Roethlisberger's come-on was just his latest towards the star safety since camp began.
"You have to realize that Ben has pretty much been in seclusion since March when the incident in Georgia happened," said a Steelers player who wished to remain anonymous. "He's barely seen a girl in five months, let alone gotten a B.J. in a bar bathroom from one. So when he shows up to camp and sees someone with long, curly, black hair, piercing eyes, a thick butt, that soft-spoken but aggressive style well, he pretty much can't help himself."
"Hell, I've been getting regular tail and I'm sort of attracted to Troy myself," said the player. "He's a very pretty man."
So far Roethlisberger's repeated advances have not been a distraction to the team.
"We're all about team here once camp opens," said head coach Mike Tomlin. "Sexual attraction can be great for bringing a team together. In fact, it's what made the '90s Cowboys and the Patriots of the past decade so good."
Some teammates say Roethlisberger dropped his pants and exposed his penis to Polamalu and other teammates today after practice, "but he was going into the shower," said one player. "Maybe it was an innocent gesture. Although I've come to doubt Ben makes purely innocent gestures when his penis is out."
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PongMonkey40, a self-proclaimed legal "expert" who "knows about this stuff" and has therefore posted a lot on Yahoo's Ben Roethlisberger story pages, wrote today that the quarterback "should have been charged something is fishy here."
The message board poster, who frequently refers to Roethlisberger as "Rapelisberger" and the Steelers as the "Jailers" and Pittsburgh as "Crimesburgh" and the Monongahela River as the "Monongarrested River," has said that the evidence was "overwhelming" against Roethlisberger and that the quarterback would be easily convicted for the crime and sentenced to "40 years to life in federal prison."
But now that the Milledgeville, Georgia, investigation is over without any charges, PongMonkey40 is sure there is a cover up.
"Did you see that DA's tie? That looked pretty nice!!!! I bet RAPESALOTBURGER bought that for him!!!" he posted after the DA announced his decision.
After another poster responded to his post with: "That's ridiculous. The DA isn't going to drop the case for a nice tie," PongMonkey40 laid into him: "Just another JAILERS fan who is ok with RAPE if it gets them a few wins!!! Disgusting!!!"
That post was followed by a racist post, a homophobic post and then a spam post for a erectile dysfunction website, but no response from the "JAILERS fan" that PongMonkey40 addressed.
"Shut you up, didn't I?" PongMonkey40 posted. "Just like my dick in your girlfriend's mouth."
PongMonkey40 then went over to the Washington Wizards team page where, on the preview page for the team's game against the Knicks, posted: "How's it going Jailzards fans? Gilbert Gunrenas should be in JAIL! You don't know the FACTS OF THE CASE!!! I DO!!!!!"
Ben needs to watch better movies.
The sexual assault allegations against Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger continue to pile up. The latest accusation, reported today, is from a man who works closely with the star: Steelers backup quarterback Dennis Dixon.
According to Pittsburgh police, Dixon claims Roethlisberger assaulted him late one night at the Steelers training facility while the pair were watching film behind closed doors. But Roethlisberger's attorney, Ed Garland, claims no assault occurred.
"Ben is completely innocent of any crime," said Garland. "We question Dennis Dixon's motives."
Dixon, who started one game for the Steelers last year when Roethlisberger was injured, says he has no motive other than wanting to see justice done. But the fact that he waited months to report the alleged incident, and that he would stand to get the starting job if Roethlisberger was imprisoned or suspended, cast some doubt on his story.
Pittsburgh police have spoken to a possible witness of the alleged attack, Steelers quarterback Charlie Batch, but the third-stringer was not helpful.
"I didn't see anything," he said. "I slept through that film session. I wasn't going to play, so I had no reason to stay awake. Plus, it was Browns tape, I think. Extra boring. I hope Ben didn't touch me while I was sleeping."
As the case is expected to devolve into he-said, she said only with two he's Ed Garland has stressed that his client has no sexual attraction to men, "which make Dixon's claims preposterous." However, Dixon's attorneys have turned over tapes to police that show numerous instances of Roethlisberger slapping teammates on the butt.
"There is a track record with Ben," said Dixon. "That is undeniable now. I hear Byron Leftwich left the Steelers because Ben used to comment all the time on how big his breasts are."